ridiculous ramblings....by -yaj-

2005-10-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

Hala.....its been a month now.
sheesh...havnt explained to the bloggin world im logged on to another one. IM me to know the other blogspot...hahahaha...it has tons in it.

at hoi....josh...chicken...
dang, i miss you guys.

2005-08-20T17:21:00.000+08:00

You are lifes clandestine. I know I have seen you before in my dreams. A gut feeling that Ive seen you yet veiled upon waking to reality and desperately trying to remember the meaning of beauty in your eyes. Ive seen you in unexpected seconds of life. Ive seen glimpses of you in a smile, or in the warmth of an embrace or in a bliss of a kiss. Ive seen you in the momentary euphoria of love. Ive seen you in the serene scene of dawn, in the clouds that seem to form your face and in the grace of sparrows in flight. Ive seen you in parts and traits of other people yet none can compare to you. I know of your light that radiates from the clouds of obscurity of having not known you. Yes, you are nameless but deep inside I know I called you Mine. You are typical, you are ideal, you are perfection. You are my treasure whom I seek and the whole universe conspires in helping me find you. Guided by the One supreme, I wait in the assurance of the existence of your love. See the wind that brings me the sweet scent of your perfume and the birds that sing of your voice. Hear the sun, bellowing with its heat of your warmth and the tranquil seas that brings tidings of your glamour. See the rain that tells me of your sadness, the sky that reflects your mood, see that shooting star rejoicing in your success.I cry not of despair, for it is written that we shall cross times boundaries and meet. I look forward to that day when I shall be complete.

aint this keyboard lovely?

2005-08-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

oh glee oh bliss oh rain oh lovely day....
woot...dont i just love this keyboard. oh well.
im starting to make mc donalds at the university gate my official tambayan. from seeing crushes from the second floor to laughing out loud with marge and making new friends with ate glo'c contacts....oh glee oh bliss oh rain oh better day. and mc flurry.....
tip: a way to my heart is mc flurry with cappucino and m&m's. and if your looking for me on my free sked: try mcdo else if im not there try barracks internet cafe (i.c) or insight i.c.
oh glee oh bliss, its 5 days to my bday and i still hvnt plans for any kind of celebration. i wanted to sponser a felloship or something with NAVS but..hmm...i suddenly lost my excitement to conduct such an activity. administrative reasons.argh. but oh glee oh bliss, il think of something to make it MY DAY. y hear? MY DAY!!!! anyways, i speed read "The Alchemist" the second time around last friday. hehehe....and it never failed to get me thinking about stuff. and what better way to splurge thoughts and emotions then over mc flurry with baby hazel.
actually i "borrowed" (tagalog translation: INARBOR) the book from her which she was almost thru with. hehehehe...nevertheless we did engage in a delightful discussion over several concepts, symbology and looking at the book in a perspective other than worldly. lol. so topics: love, christianity, JC, bible studies, how to lead one, the em powerment of the Holy Spirit.hahahaha....trust me it was light in a manner that we talked about it in relationship to the book. astig dba? well, moreover, the book lead me to write this article which discuss the soveriegnity of God over love and destiny in which guided by him "the whole universe conspires" to grant us TRUE LOVE. tralalala...oh glee oh bliss...i love this keyboard.

Updates

2005-08-16T10:01:00.000+08:00

i suck. totally. im losing my slef respect and being a bum and uberly lazy at school. countless absences, missed quizzes, mediocre exam results, 1 failed exam, a overdue manuscript draft and this disposition that i cannot simply understand. lack of inspiration would be the best excuse. haay.

the only good news is i got to read HP6 a week after it started selling in the phils and glee and evil at being a spoiler to tons and tons of HP fans. haay...
and i got a 97 percentile in the Natl Meds Ad Test (NMAT) SIMULATION by Brains. sheesh.hehehehe. yabang. oh well. i need to improve in these areas (with respective percentiles): perceptual acuity (7), verbal (85), chemistry (88), sociology (77)_ and physics (89). I got 99 in bio and inductive reasoning and a 98 in quantitative ability.hehehe.
oh well, we'll leave that for the review center to work.

what i really need to get working on is my manuscript of my thesis. i mean everything is just there. i simply need to have the mood to start writing for a aug 15 deadline. (i know its already the 16th...lol....) haaay... and i simply lack the mood for studying as well..
haay ewan ko ba.

ghost

2005-08-16T09:38:00.000+08:00

i slowly weather away to nothingness. to exist in meaningless. to find meaning in nonexistence. i walk in a blur of time, unseen, unfelt... i slowly fade into the rushing crowd. without goodbyes, noone has to notice. She'll simply forget. a long forgotten stain in the near white canvas of her life. i slowly drown myself..there'll be no reason for hapiness now. im dead in life, a spirit trapped in the physical world bound by lungs that still breath and a cold heart that stubbornly beats. i slowly dissolve in space. with a hope that faintly echoes "i love you, i love you...still."

2005-07-01T15:37:00.000+08:00

12:44am

she looked at me above the rim of her glasses and smiled. God, i still cant get that out of my head.

its late and this night's memories are drowing me in a cocktail of emotions - bitter, remorse, accomplished, estatic, loved, unloved, vanilla, strawberries, calm and confused -on the rocks at that, shaken not stirred. Goodness knows how fickle my hypothalamus will ever get, at this rate, im bound for insanity.

sigh

just when i thought i found myself in the serenity of still waters. you happened, you rocked the boat, capsizing me into its cold depths. i swear i was superman, but you were kryptonite.

im guilty. verdict as you might but this is my confession.

to the success of my accomplishments, shall i think twice about what inspires me to work my best. to a Higher Glory has all been laid for yet you were my idol. you drove me out of my way, to do and to much extent things i would not have done. you were patience in fustration, hope in desperation, light in darkness, inspiration in sadden spirits. it was all about you.

scream.

no. i dedicate my success to Him, to the One who deserves all glory, thats how i want it to be. oh Lord, why do You blind me from Your blessings in disguise. Are you, as i believe, my strength and my source of all inspiration. Can i not see you in her smile. oh Lord, verdict. You knowmy heart and its mysteries. how far shall can i be inspired by such a smile you have graciously given me.

fall not for the gift but the Giver. Verdict! prove me wrong....
for i know my plea - Guilty.

6:30 am.

i woke up mistaking my pillow for you. and i feel bitter now. with last night's spirited emotions slowly dissolving in its space, i find myself left with bitterness. like a carbonated soda left out....im not as strong as i was.

you are the epitomy of it. The embodiment of sorts, of fustration and angst bottled up. and i am just but a notch away from exploding.

alas! woe to me who dwells in the moments of bliss. I can reminisce every detail of each encounter and recall when we part, you leave me happy with a smile from ear to ear. oh smile for me, at my misbehavings, funnyless jokes and irritating teases. for each time you do, you fill up a small part of the void that was once left shattered. you are remedy, a drug...im getting addicted.

those times, we shared one passion, which made me feel alot more closer to you that i ought to feel. i guess, ever more that you feel close to me. such closeness has made me look forward to what we have prepared and the day when we shall laugh all the hard times in the midst of our accomplishment. and i looked to that day when ill sit with you, smile and say thank you for being an inspiration.

as swift as all came to pass, you did not sit besides me in the lights of our success. but rather, i saw you swept away by some rogue knight while i sat the clown jester entertaining those who need to be entertained. and the lights were dim to my eyes. and i found no significance to my fortunes.

i looked through emerald eyes that gleamed with intense...
pause...
im not jealous, i never can be.....

sometime in the morning

i caught your smile like a flower catching the first rays of sunlight after a winter storm. you were my morning's coffee -bitter yet sweat, aromatic, addictive. i know i wouldnt have started the day right without you.

11:32 am

curse me. sometimes i go overboard. a desperation to be understood. for reasons uncertain, i find myself trusting. i feel scared.

3:37 pm at this internet cafe.

oh shit, my classmate texted me...i damn forgot to measure something. lol. im having lots on my mind lately.

waah...CLASSES!!!

2005-06-21T08:05:00.000+08:00

phew...be really busy this sem. heres meh sked:
(dang this pc doesnt have excel....)

so ill just list by subjects:
a total of 19 units dang.

Microbiology 130 - Microbial genetics (4 units)
2 units lecture, 2 hours a week, MW: 8:00-9:00am.
2 units laboratory, 6 hours a week, MW: 1:00-4:00pm.

ole...genetics, microbial at that. itl be fun, i hope. prof is Dr Cruz who actually lives in the same compund, just next door really... not that il be hopping over with goodies asking for tutorials and good grades. i hate being a teacher's pet. but she knows me...and knows my dad...and knows what to expect from me...gulp...oh well, that'll be the earliest class for mon and wed...better than a 7am class.ahihihihi.

i also sit next to j-LO, the only friend left who doesnt trade me for his organization...hehehe. love that guy (gay?)...sad thing that mcb130 lec and bio199a are the only subjects i get to see him in. it would have been cool to be doing laboratory exercises with this dude.tte.

laboratory. we meet twice a week. dang. i hate 2 unit lab works. atleast its not 6 hours straight.lol. the instructor, who the class knows as maam jem...is so pretty. God, i love her smile...i could just stare at ther the whole time and pretend not to listen...lol...which will prove itself detrimental to class standings someday.hahaha.

ill be leading the class for exercise 3...which involves...um..dang i forgot. oh well. i do know i few of my classmates but none i feel like tatling with. i rather remain quite when nothing is to be done and stare. otherwise, i keep myself busy with calculating media components, making stock solutions and weighing.....

Microbiology 150 - Microbial Ecology (3 units)
2 units lecture, 2 hours a week, MW: 11:00am-12:00nn.
1 unit laboratory, 3 hours a week, Thurs: 10:00am-1:00pm.

2 things i wont like about this subject:
1.) it conflicts with my desires to eat on times when i feel like eating.
2.) it has to be both (the lectures and laboratory) by Sir NG Sabino, whose teaching styles im not familiar with and as of, this first 2 weeks, i dont like.

atleast we get 2 field trips, and im quite excited.

classmate ko si joni sa lec at sa lab.old classmate back in highschool. also my groupmate in the lab. who i happen to be(well, i always usually end up as) group leader. first exercise...damn, where the heck will i find non-acidic soil? look for anysoil, determine pH, add NaOH? lol. lecture class also requires me to report on extreme osmotic concentration environments. oh boy, Heliobacteria here i come.

Biology 199a- Undergraduate Seminar (1 unit)
1 units lecture, 1 hour a week, M: 4-5pm.

right after my mcb130 lab...baah....makes monday totally loaded. prof is no other than my beloved adviser. haay...well usually, in this class if you are under the thesis program you usually conduct a seminar on your thesis. luckily, being maam's advisee...i get to be first. grabe. july 18 will be the lucky day....passing grade would be 80%. sheesh. fortunately, i already have the power presentation i used for my report back in AVRDC. i bit of additional info and defintion of terms and viola....

kklase ko ulit si J.Lo..hahahaha. the rest of the class got to draw lots...imagine! they drew lots...xept me. but J.Lo got #2 out of the lot.lol.

Philosophy 1 (3 units)
3 units lecture, 3 hours a week, TTH: 7:00-8:30am.

waah...a seven am class. sheesh! havnt have any formal class since last week coz according to the secretary of the humanities dept, our instructor is new and his papers/appointment hasnt been processed entirely. maybe this thursday.we hopefully will be starting.

Science and Technology S (?) 1 (3 units)
3 units lecture, 3 hours a week, TTH: 2:30-4:oopm.

o lala...was absent for the first week so..hahaha. coz i was lazy and i thought nothing else aside from class policies would have been discussed. so i havent been briefed with the subject. according to some of my friends, there was formal lecture last thursday.damn. i hope maam Goss wouldnt be my prof. shes ulti nice but...treats me like her pet.hahahaha.
anyways, later at 2:30, ill know.

Statistics 162 - Experimental Designs (3 units)
2 units lecture, 2 hours a week, TTH: 4:00-5:00 pm.
1 unit lab, 3 hours a week, Fri: 7:00-10:00am.

this makes tuesday, uber boring: i have nothing to do from 8:30am - 2:30 pm. and fridays, despite a 7am class, a semiholiday. coz this lab will be all i have for that day.hehehe.

in the lecture...kklase ko si aiza...wehehehe.how cool i that? cors we know aiza...ksma ko sa taiwan. and our lecture prof is Dr (maam) Reano...mommy ni Ian...isa din sa ksma nmn sa taiwan. hahahahah. but i sit besides Howell, a fellow and only other bio major in the class. in the laboratory section, im familiar with noone else.

lastly..

Biology 200-2 - Thesis (the final 2 units of 6)
2 unit consultation with my adviser,(typically) 2 hours a week,(supposedly) Fri: 8-10am.

oh well...since its just consultations (usually takes only 15 minutes or so) regarding my manuscript and the fridays that she usually assigns to us her advisees is conflict with my stat 162 lab...i dunno...i told her about the conflict but i guess that wouldnt be a prob coz i could just drop by her office anytime shes free. Requirements of course would be a good manuscript and defense at the end of this sem. hope i can get a flat 1 for this course. its 6 units and will weigh alot in my final grade.yeah.

ayan 19 units.wehehehehe. its not really much. and i have alot of time to get busy with my ORG, which i plan to be.heheheh.

Dream journals

2005-06-07T09:05:00.000+08:00

it occured to me...now wouldnt that be cool.
Here's a recurring dream..thats well bothering. it has a lil of my interpretations in it...comments will be delightful.

falling....into black space.

sigh......

leaving you has shattered my heart into a million peices...so small that the pieces can pass through the eye of a needle.

Shame on Me if i can love another...

oh how i wish i had the patience to hold on but no. i fled off chasing the wind, the meaning of true love. I care not of how you felt. my eyes have grown dim on anything else but that distant light - my hope too fill the void created by love's lacking.

and with the wind i fled..chasing that ever glowing light. leaving you in despair.

and where has it taken me? where has the light lead me? bracing myself against the cold air that gushes against my heart as i fled..i follow....i follow...

it has taken me far and high........far from my thoughts of you, high in the heavens with momentarily bliss among angelic hosts. It has lead me to traverse wide across the seas and tread distant shores.

Alas...i wish i held on.

For it ends......here atop a ravine of gloom, the wind dies...a pit of gloom, does the light shine feverishly. And you...you lay there at the bottom. dead.

dead by own acts of selfishness. you lay there where the wind has taken me. You lay there upon the light...true love.

and i fall...

last reply.

2005-06-04T10:59:00.000+08:00

with lack of better things to say, i bid you goodnight.

haay...why is it always like that? am i too paranoid with the feel rejection? guess, its hard when somebody looks you into the eye and say "alam mo..mahirap kng mahalin"
maybe shamcey was right about her idea...to care less about such matters.

should i start caring less about you?

2005-06-03T14:15:00.000+08:00

Hope... ;D

2005-06-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

the sunrise that marked my last full day in taiwan. picture was taken by me using my ever loyal phone.hehehe.

manila...manila...manila.

2005-06-03T13:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i went to mnla by myself...lol...how cool is that. hahaha, pacncya n mga tao..eh, ako ay isang provincial boy lamang.

so anyways, my intentions really were to fix my ipod shuffle at the apple center in sm megamall, but i decided to ring dear princess shamcey and ask her to spend the whole day with me. prncz 9c is a dear kababata studying archi at UPD that i havnt seen for a year now and i miss being with that tall dalaga...so i did.

oh we had fun.....we met up at around 11am at the powerbooks store. and had a hell of cathcing up with each other. it was funny coz in the apple center, we were so engrossed in our conversation, i didnt realize what they were doing with my ipod until they shoved the a reciept in my hand and toldme to come back in 2 weeks time.lol..."um....are you going to replace my unit?" "yes, we will...it'll be avialable in the next 5 working days or to 2 weeks time depending on the availability of the units from singapore..."

me and shamcey then had lunch at pizzahut, since both of us couldnt really decide where to eat.

then we went mall hopping at ayala. lol, gosh...its my first time to really move about mnla so aun...i finally got to visit the cluster of malls, wc are glorietta, sm (city?), greenbelt and the landmark (was it?). we also got to watch starwars3 at glorietta 4.neat neat. and finally bummed about the green belt park.

as, i said...we had uber fun. guess coz we had lots of stuff to talk about.

back home.

2005-06-01T09:56:00.000+08:00

haaay...online solitude.

i need this..so i wont be fussing with my blog for awhile.
leaving taiwan does..well...leave an emotional bruise after all...

i miss aiza, ian, abriel and kuya manny.

us.

thought of the moment

2005-05-25T13:44:00.000+08:00

im tired to care anymore...
but it hurts.
i wish i wasnt..
me........
maybe youd love me more..
that way.

Bohemian Rhapsody

2005-05-25T09:45:00.000+08:00

Mama,just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now he’s dead,
Mama,life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didn’t mean to make you cry-
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,as if nothing really matters-

Queen Rocks...

2005-05-24T14:25:00.000+08:00

most of all..i MISS MY LIL BRO...dang....wish i could talk to you john...have lots to kwnto..sorry we couldnt catch up on each other during the summer.

2005-05-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

i miss my room. isang week nlng...tas mtapos n ANG LAHAT!!!!!! then ill be sleeping in my apartment at elbi, the second best thing to Davao.

My funny Valentine

2005-05-22T16:54:00.000+08:00

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day

Frank Sinatra Blues.

Trip ng Gang!

2005-05-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

where in the world did this gang of 5 end up last weekend? lol, well..as promised, ito kwnto ko sa trip ko taipei..ito kmi (from left to right): abel, ME, aiza, ian and kuya manny.

taipei is a 6 hour train ride from shang hua, so basically to maximize our 2 day stay in taipei, we decided to take the midnight train out of shanghua....yeah, thats me. the rest of the gang sat in pairs making me the unlucky lonely one. my seatmate wasnt even pretty.lol. so, yeah, at first i thought i wouldnt give a damn coz i thought we'd be sleeping 6 hoursof the way...but hell no - boy was i the unlukiest dude ever. see, above my seat is a leak and it was dripping at my right shoulder...imagine...so i didnt get much of a good shuteye...even sitting up was so umcomfty coz i had to huddle up to one side of the chair - rib pressed down on the armchair, trying not to get wet. well, for the camera...atleast i got to smile...lol

pair: aiza and kuya manny. bummed. its funny though, see aiza was the only girl with us, she always said that she was one of the boys, but she is in everyway not a lesbian.lol. so all of the boys in the gang wanted to sit besides her coz, for one, her cheeks are the most adorable things..lols..and for two its nice to lean on someone that is not a guy.har har...so what the boys dis is we pick lots on who'll get the lucky seat besides aiza. haay kuya manny won, daya...tas i got the unlucky seat. lol.

ayan, ito,pair number two...oh theyd love to be with aiza too but hell khit na wla...buti p sila..they get to sleep while i slave away with wet clothes...hahaha. nkkingit nga..i promised il ride in a better seat on the trip back to taiwan.

so after 6 hours...it was about 6am, we headed straight to miss tina's, the girl in blue...she ivited us to sleep over at her place tas cya mismo tour guide nmn at...lol..."nbhla" smin when it came to transpo "fames" and food. lol. nice person i know. this pic was another 4 hours later after we had a quick breakfast and a bit more shuteye.

so the first stop...was taipei 101...currently the guiness world record for the tallest building and fastest elevators. lol, and yeah..we got to the top for 250 NT buck...quite expensive but worth it though.

yeah...ito un. lol...

it was fun really, they give us this acoustic guide thingamajig that when we go to windows 1- 20, all we need is to press the corresponding number to hear the what-so about what-so buildings or scenery or mountains.lol.

but most of the time...we got a bit too senti..lol...

still at taipei 101...

after 101, we went to the Chang Kai Shek Memorial Hall...One of the biggest memorial monuments i've ever seen. The stairs to the top were like about a thousand steps high...kidding...just a mere 80++, but hell, at step 60, youd be thinking otherwise. anyways...

we came just in time for the cahnge of guard...which was really cool coz they showed us these kickass moves...soldierish yet with finisse...swear, i would have thought they were gay especailly when they march-somewhat like a fag crossed with a robot. a video would have been better than a pic...

but afterwards, they just stood still....boring really...it would have been awesome if they like wore hugh hats and stood for hours like those in teh buck palace...but no...look closely, these cute soldiers even have fans poised at their backs....imagine an hour stand...anyone could do that (and we cant even get near them)...lol.

oh well in fairness to my man CKS over there...i would have wanted my own memorial hall with them cute soldiers (but i would have prefered babes in wet suits..lol...ryyyttt....)

we didnt stay long, it was about 6pm...but miss tina wanted us to go to the north most of taipei as so we could maximize our visits in our 2 day stay. we took the TRTS...awesome metro system....oh i heart thee...wish the metro was akin to those back home...*wishful thinkings.*...but oh well, it was a 30 minute ride, i could thing we were able to get(take) seats after some people got off...

The place was waterside fair...interesting really...with all those fair games, food and the like. I wasnt really in the mood....maybe coz i was tired or coz something i wasnt supposed to feel...but not to worry...i mean, it didnt spoil the rest of my day or anything....ey teka...this shot is malabo...

yeah..thats better with the flash and the fake smile...lol.

lol..but eventually i did feel a bit better....especailly after dinner...actually everyone did feel better after dinner. lol...

after dinner, we went to taipei's hwahsi street..a self acclaimed tourist night market.lol...but really its famous by its other name. Snake alley...

ay teka...that aint a snake....

yeah...snake restos actually...were they serve roasted snake with and beverages of snake blood and bile...yuk.

lol..but the live snakes were cool...

heres one end of the 2 block street. funny, ian didnt notice the trash...lol. or did he?

we had to stay at the market for like an hour and a half coz miss tina was taking a foot massage. so most of the time, we just practically fooled around.

heres a picture within the alley mismo...

after the snake alley, we decided to head to miss tina's aprtment to sleep. her apartment was actually a block away from the CKS memorial hall..kuya manny had to take terrible night shots of it. It took us an hour to walk by the CKS coz abel had this really cool british accent. and as we passed by picture exhibits featuring taipei's finest tourist attractions, he was like pretending to be our tour guide. It was really cool. At the aprtment, we didnt go right away to sleep ksi ngkaraoke p kmi...till 3 in the morning. lol....bad thing was, i started getting alot of 80 and below scores. dang. i mean, i couldnt tell if it was the mic at miss tina's house that was broken or the one back at maam engle's place. lol...but the others agreed that it was miss tina's mic that was broken...phew...mahahaha...evil laugh.

The Next Morning...WOW. sarap ng breakfast noh? thats toasted bread, orange jam, spam and egg...then yogurt, fresh milk, and COFFEE! grabeh...sarap tlga ng gcng n un. oh well...i think it was about 10 in the morning. eh sympre, puyat kmi sa videoke kgbi.

ayan....milk and toast. haaay...sarap. pretty faces khit bagong gcng..."bagong fresh..." mwahahaha...

si kuya manny, aiza and ME!

So after breakfast, we decided to visit the National Palace Musuem, pero dumaan ulit kmi sa CKS memorial hall, inorder to take the metro at the CKS station.lol. This dumaan kmi sa basement ng memorial hall where they featured most of CKS stuff...like this sedan..cool, noh?

Heres another pic, pero d na capture ung car...i had better pics sa pone ko pero cant upload them yet..drats.

lol, i forgot...we really got a kick out of 7-11's white umbrellas so all of us bought one for 60NT. ayun..posing with our umbrellas...makes us so chinesee...

another shot from outside the hall...that would be the entrace.

hahaha...sayang n shot. oh well.. this is outside their performing arts center,, we saw this huge poster of a man flying with a sword...."touch of zen"..wla lng...we wanted to try the pose out. hahaha.

Well, finally, dumating kmi sa Museum...they kinda feature alot of artifacts especially jaded items and bronze crafting.

Mr whathisName 6 handed god..lol.

Me in the lime light, lol.....thats baby buddha in the center...we thought he rocked coz he was doing the astig pose. pictures is a so dim coz they dont allow flash...hehehe.

Oh we still love breaking rules..lol. *winks*..note: flash.

For lunch, we had pizza. lol..

i bet everyone thought we were crazy at pizza hut. lol.

:D i love being a foreigner...WE WOULDNT CARE IF YOU DO! lol. see, we didnt really eat at the pizza parlor but decided to take it out. Pero, a few blocks of walking we got really hungry so decided to seat in one of them public benches, underneath the metro rails...something i wouldnt do in the Phil.

romance in teipai...but really, i did notice alot of chinese couples acting uber sweet in public. "Teenagers...Raging Hormones...They never Change (old man Bill, Spiderman)"

well, finally we went to miss tina's office. stayed an hour or two..those green bags are actually loaded with books. Coz miss tina was the infomation officer of some agricultural organization, so basically she gives away publications that are basically taking alot of space in her mini library of journals and reports...hahaha..it was an incredible find...more like a raid. lol.

Heres Aiza featuring our white payongs in the buffet diner where we had our last dinner sa teipai....after this it was home sweet Shan Hua...hehehe.

Ayun..there wasnt much pics in the later part ng trip ksi we ran out of battery..lol. Going home...i was lucky..may katabi na ako, the roof aint leaking and i did get some shuteye. The Train Car also got lonely after sometime so eventually the gang started owning two chairs to sleep on. Damn, i still want to add more pics, from my phone particularly ksi mas mrmi ako nkuha na details dun...hehehe. Haay..yan trip nmn. Msya and worth the money spent.

Fustration...

2005-05-20T09:15:00.000+08:00

so here it ends. my fucked up thesis. our fucked up friendship. im dead tired and i dont want to go on, im settling for mediocracy. im settling for just being any normal friend - anquaitance.

im giving up..as much as i have gave up on you. lol..funny. you seat a computer away, and yet...you are but a distant memory, where our friendship was once cherished and fun. like dreams of making one hell of a grand thesis - its just there, almost within my grasp. sigh...but no..fuck fate, fuck destiny, fuck change...

hell, no regrets. i did my part...um...did i? would it be my fault that my amplifications are so crude and smears/contaminants end up everywhere? i tried isolating all possible sources of error, from checking each and every reagent to scrutinizing my techniques...i consulted books and acted like a naive fool in front of my supervisors..but everytime, it just seems to get worse.

minsan iniisip ako ang error. ako mismo. i feel so incompetent and dumb...the way i hate myself for having our friendship slip out of hand, and maybe for not being the friend im suppose to be.

it sucks. the world is filled with fucked up actors...always pretending, always acting...we feel the tension but yet you smile, you play games with me,you tease me, i smile back, i play with you, i tease you back...as if we want things to be normal as if nothing has happened, as if you havnt changed and that i hated you for that. and yet, within the four corners of a candle-lit room, i cry...

oh tears, dont ruin the carpet says my pride, it aint worth it so put urself together. but hell no, deep within me, i know, an emptyness, a void, a blackhole making me cringe and feel fucking sad. i miss us. our friendship and i hate myself for being the reason.

im out...of things to do. there is no hope in making up for things. i have a week left, and its crazy coz i finished all of the reagents sa lab. imagine...naubos ko LAHAT in all the attempts iv tried to amplify that cursed region. ndi ko n mabilang ilng bese ko n try...para makuha ung gusto ko. pero wla. fuck chance...

isang week nlng....wla na nga ako mgwa...paalam kaibigan. paalam tiawan...sayang ung thesis....letche...

umbrella gang

2005-05-16T10:16:00.000+08:00

newly founded umbrella gang...bleh. talk about taipei later..lol. when i get those other pics.

perversion...

2005-05-12T22:34:00.000+08:00

lol, sorry for such and such..but hey, as my roommates sezs...its natural for man to perverse....lol.

http://quizdiva.com/flavorquiz.html
lol, i have a pineapple-y sexual flavor...
"Sweet, funky, and very persuasive.On the surface, you're the sweetheart everyone wants.And you're able to leverage that sweetness to get your way in bed.So yeah, you tend to lay back and get a lot of tongue baths.And you never have to lift your cute little finger in return." lol...interesting...very interestin

ok...wehehehe...tomorrow,we are going to taipei...prng neexcite ko. i saw zeke's past chinese summer student's report. man oh man...abstract and intro on one page, 2-3 pages for materials and methods, 2-4 pgs for results and discussion...how cool is that? and im like worrying over making 6 (dds) page intro, 6 page RRL, 4 pgs M&M and a hell lot more of Results and Discussion...sheesh. well,atleast, tio some extent the pressures off...but still..ive still have to live up to the standards of being a UP stud.lol..yeah.

oh pretty...im done with a rough intro...i decided to skip RRL for later and im starting to work on my M&M. Zeke is being ultra kind in telling me what dat to show off and what not to.lol. despite the fact that i dont have time to redo the isolates with questionable results iv gotten in the greenhouse, he told me that he would just send the results by email for my thesis. what matters is i get my AVRDC report done..lol.neat. UPLB summer students are also expected to conduct a small seminar. cool cool cool...hope i can get my molecular data before next week ends.

im not going to show any signs of fustration, i wont play your game...curse you luck. lol....living one day at a time...i hope.

Heaven knows

2005-05-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in timeI'll know she's mine
But tell me,
where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray

'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?

Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.

Heaven knows... Heaven knows .

Price R ick Astig!

caffeine...

2005-05-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

let lose...i need you to squeeze my blood vessels tight...
comeon...let lose..
wake me UP!

im being driven crazy by that cursed smear that keeps coming outta of my PCR products...

yes, and wish i had reasons to smile like this...sniffs...

net blues

2005-05-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

cant go online as much as i want to ...
sad.
uber busy...

Faith!!!

2005-05-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody has got a body like me,
but i gotta think twice,
before i give my heart away, a
nd i know all the games you play,
cuz i play them too,
oh but i need some time off from that emotion,
time to pick my heart up off the floor,
but that love comes down without devotion,
well it takes a strong man baby,
but i'm showin' you that door,

i gotta have faith
gotta have faith,
gotta have faith,
gotta have faith!

baby, i know you're askin' me to stay,
say please please please don't go away cuz you're givin' me the blues,
baby, your mind made all the words you say,
can't help but think of yesterday and another who tied me down to the lover boy rules,
before this river becomes an ocean,
before you pick my heart up off the floor,
well that love comes down without devotion,
well it takes a strong man baby,
but i'm showin' you that door,

i gotta have faith
gotta have faith,
gotta have faith,
gotta have faith!

get tha fuck up!!!

i gotta have faith,
i gotta have faith,
i gotta have faith,
i gotta have faith!
faith! ahhhh faith!! ahhhhh!!!!

Wincall...

2005-05-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

oh wincall how i love thee...how cool is 45 minutes for 150NT....? especially when you get to talk to just the person you need to make you sane again...hahaay...

oh well hoorah to short posts...well..it is my Ridiculous Ramblings..

hahaha...lakas din trip ko lately..product of my being so MAYABANG...lol.
ito, im conducting this survey you see...
"that do you find most attractive sakin?" lol..
interesting answers:
* malambing
* straight forward, i do what i want, honest and down to earth
* matalino (right...)
* thwang
* pggng confident and mayabang
* sweet and kulit at the same time
* my arms...???

bruised hands

2005-05-09T18:13:00.000+08:00

for holding you to long,
when will i let you go?

3 weeks countdown....8 hours in the greenhouse of data gathering...waah....nearly done. but the LAB is killing me. btw... i saw the ipod shuffle....wehehehe...might just be buying that before going home. going to taipei at the end of this week...its a 6 hour trip by train...lol.

"Lose Yourself"

2005-05-09T18:11:00.000+08:00

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted - One momentWould you capture it or just let it slip? His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghettiHe's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come outHe's chokin, how everybody's jokin nowThe clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravityOh, there goes Rabbit, he chokedHe's so mad, but he won't give up thatEasy, noHe won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropesIt don't matter, he's dopeHe knows that, but he's brokeHe's so stacked that he knows When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it'sBack to the lab again yoThis whole rap shitHe better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

[Hook:]You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gapingThis world is mine for the takingMake me king, as we move toward a, new world order A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortemIt only grows harder, only grows hotter He blows us all over these hoes is all on himCoast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotterLonely roads, God only knowsHe's grown farther from home, he's no fatherHe goes home and barely knows his own daughterBut hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product They moved on to the next schmoe who flowsHe nose dove and sold nadaSo the soap opera is told and unfoldsI suppose it's old partna', but the beat goes onDa da dum da dum da da

[Hook]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher Best believe somebody's payin the pied piperAll the pain inside amplified by the fact That I can't get by with my 9 to 5 And I can't provide the right type of life for my family Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus See dishonor caught up between being a father and a prima donna Baby mama drama's screamin on and Too much for me to wanna Stay in one spot, another day of monotony Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go I cannot grow old in Salem's lot So here I go is my shot.Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Hook]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

fixated....

2005-05-07T13:48:00.000+08:00

im all fixated over lemon ice tea...i want lemon ice tea....waah...its getting rather hot here now...but the pool is great...

phew. im at another standstill. just watching time go wasting by, as my thesis sits, slowly revealing its ultimate plan: that i shall suffer in my last 2-3 weeks stay in taiwan...damn it. ive done 7 amplification attempts: and either of these bad results occur: no amplification bands, contaminated tubes, and insufficient amplified DNA...waah...when will i ever get to the bulk of my thesis.

btw...they disconnected my internet line for my pc in the office...damn, all of a sudden waiting for 30 minutes is a really really long time...hahaha. and twytwy cant keep me company anymore..huhuhu. apparantly my pc is spreading viruses all over the lan....haay...quite embarassing really...and also explains why my ofic pc is acting dumb....

its 2pm..really hot to go outside or do anything. maybe when the sun gets a bit lower il do my daily pool laps....wehehehe...its so relaxing when you just swim swim swim....i get to think clearly...about stuff...

miss my brother, dad and mom...miss alot of people too.

New Skin...

2005-05-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

you'll never believe what happened...just when i put one months effort into my previous blog skin...it gets erased..haay...by accident...bad trip tlga. ksi...i was working on two blog templates at the same time: multitasking..naks.. but alas, i eventually got confused and changed my RID RAMS template..

haay..so aun...searched blogskins again and got this skin...it isnt so bad and i adjusted a few things here and there...and its ok. but not as much as my previous skin, considering how much effort exerted..huhuhu.
hope you'll find this one better...

im on my 5th attempt to amplify the IGS region which im working on...not that im fustrated anymore or anything...just anxious coz i cant wait to work on them. sadly, 2 of my 30 isolates still wont cooperate, so ive analysed every possible systematic or human error that may have occured...good thing, im zeroing on to the prob....tomorrow, il get it!

AVRDC network's firewall sucks...i cant believe they allow me to play flash games, blog, chat but not get into Y!MAIL...grabeh..and i need to send important emails...damn. oh well, i check tomorrow...

btw...reminded you guys to take my survey...its just 2 posts down..its nice knowing what you guys know..lol. and brings back lots of memories...esp with people i dont get to see everyday...MISS YOU GUYS!

im pissed with my motorola E398 USB modem...argh...damn, hardware....oh well....i want to upload the pics on my phone..its getting crowded..lol 10 MB worth of it...and itl be neat if i post pics...
i plan to buy the bluetooth thingamajig for uploading...i hope its damn cheap here...

oh well..its late...and I'm.....

busy

2005-05-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

spent the whole day with blogger, but on this blog...lol.
just for keeps...
http://twytwy-jayjay.blogspot.com
its still under major construction..
lol...

day went well, coz i wasnt doing much in the lab....
swan laps din...saya...nka 25 n ako. bukas ulit bka mga 30 laps na.

lol....

2005-05-01T00:36:00.000+08:00

SURVEY WITH A TWIST! YOU fill in the blanksabout ME and send it back To me, but first send ablank one out to all your friends so they can returnthe favor to you. Be honest - or just be as funny asyou can, they're really cool to get back, you mightfind out something you had never realized before.It only takes a few minutes... 1st-send this survey to everyone you know to see how well they knowyou... 2nd-fill this survey out about the person whosent it to you and send back to them...
1. My name:
2. Where did we meet?:
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
4. How long have you known me?:
5. How well do you know me?:
6. Do I smoke?:
7. Do I believe in God?:
8. When you first saw me what was yourimpression?:
9. My age:
10. Birthday:
11. Color hair:
12. Eye color:
13. Do I have any siblings?:
14. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
15. What's one of my favorite things to do?:
16. Do you remember one of the 1st things I saidto you?:
17. What's my favorite type of music?:
18. What is the best feature about me?:
19. Am I shy or outgoing?:
20. Would you say I am funny?:
21. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?:
22. Any special talents?:
23. Would you consider me a friend?:
24. Would you call me preppy, slutty, a homie,average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy,snobby, raver, or rocker something else?:
25. Have you ever seen me cry?:
26. If there was one good nickname for me, whatwould it be?:
27. Are my parents still together?:
28. What do I love? (pretty general, huh?!):
29. What is my best accomplishment?
30. Do I do drugs?
31. Have I ever been there for you?
32. Am I smart?
33. Conservative or liberal?
34. Name one way I've made an impact on yourlife.
35. Who do you think I'll marry?
36. What is your favorite thing to do with me?
37. Have I ever told you I liked you?:
38. Have I ever been in love?:
39. When was the last time we spent timetogether?
40. If, in one hour, I'll be gone forever... whatwill beyour last words for me?:

just answer in the comments below...

cape...

2005-04-30T10:59:00.000+08:00

im all freaked by that cup of coffee i personally grind and brewed to my extreme satisfaction..well, quite necessay after sleeping 3 am earlier this morning. lol..and youd never guess what the gang (well only kaye was missing..but she was busy with stuff) was doing..VIDEOKE! yeah...
oh well, i had a kick out of it...we were using that magic mic thing...so there wasnt much of contemporary songs to sing but hell..the classics... right here waiting, open arms, close to you, oh carol, rhythm of the falling rain, can you feel the love tonight, crazy for you, thats what friends are for (manny had to cry here...), rain drops keep falling on your head, kahit kailan, against all odds, how deep is your love..etc etc...i sang alot...and got no score below 91..lol. my highest was a 98..woot...w/c was the top for the night...lol.
oh well..we slept at 3am...at kuya manny's...the usual....everyone huddled on the floor, enjoying the cold cool night (aircon ksi)..hehehe

so anyways, results came out...quite crude as my inexperience dictates it to be..alas, i haev to repeat everything again...but technically im done..just that the results are not good enough so i have to add a few more variables here and there..oh well, I am enjoying this..

OMG...ive been in taiwan for a month na...wehehehe.. and saya pero the days are counting down..gulp.. i should start concentrating on my report...

geez...my head is spinning already..spent a couple of hours here looking for stuff for my blog..hehehe...
all be out in a moment..and maybe swim..
sad, twy twy..u didnt go online... : ( was wanting to doodle with you...

I - Axe...astig!

2005-04-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

Ikaw na ang may sabi,
na akoy mahal mo rin
At sinabi mo, ang pag-ibig moy di magbabago

Ngunit bakit? sa tuwing akoy lumalapit
ika'y lumalayo
Puso'y laging nasasaktan
pag may kasama kang iba.

Di ba nila alam
Tayo'y nagsumpaan
Na ako'y sayo at ikaw akin lamang.

Kahit anong mangyari,
pag-ibig ko'y sayo pa rin
At kahit ano pa, ang sabihin nila'y ikaw pa rin

Ang mahal, maghihintay ako kahit kailan
Kahit na, umabot man ako'y nasa langit na

At kung di ka makita
Makikiusap kay bathala
Na ikay hanapin, at sabihin
Ipaalala sa iyo ang nakalimutang sumpaan
Na ako'y sa'yo at ika'y akin lamang

Umasa kang maghihintay kahit kailanKahit na,
umabot man ako'y nasa langit na

At kung di ka makita
Makikiusap kay bathala
Na ikay hanapin, at sabihin
Ipaalala sa iyo ang nakalimutang sumpaan
Na ako'y sa'yo at ika'y akin lamang

I - Axe...astig!

again at the pc room, when will we ever get bored...
the gang is planing to go taipai around the 2nd weekend of may..oh that will be exciting...oh yes, and more good news..i finally, finally, OMG...finally, made good results in that fustrating expt i repeated 4 times. so now im able to go to the next step in conducting my thesis..however, any bad results would, sadly, lead doing everything again...sheesh...
oh shucks,ill know by tomorrow am or, on second thoughts, by the end of day...

oh btw...iv found the perfect past time..so im sitting in front of the computer where the gang usually lets it play music or whatever...so what ill do is choose the music that most of the gang likes...place the gang in conference on YM...and whatever music plays i send the lyrics...
lol...the pc room is turning into one hell of a KTV lounge.. :D

oh yeah...according to kaye, "No...not Constantine...theres no essence in watching AI anymore"
manny: "apparantly Americans lack taste..." and im like..
"YES! CSI...i get to watch my CSI!!!"

yada yada ydad

2005-04-27T19:46:00.000+08:00

yada yada ydad

and i was having this pleasant chat with twy twy...especially about the possibilities of where i might be going after i graduate...where i plan to take my MD or masters....when the computer had to boot on me...stupid ofic pc.

oh well, after waiting for 30 minutes to have AIM get back online, w/c didnt...i decided to transfer my sorry ass to the computer room. and it was crzy coz suddenly i felt so worried about career and all. i was always happy-go-lucky with whatever opportunities that presents itself and i realized that iv never actually "tried" to scout for scholarships, medical schools, or financial aids or rather look for such opportunities (lucky me, i ended up in taiwan..lol). I guess i was just getting to comfty with the confident idea that ill land at UP Mnla, and thats good enough.

so for the next 2 hours or so..i went university hunting..looked at websites, infos on the school, location, admissions, curriculum, possible scholarships and financial aids. Haay...so much to consider. Oh well, currently im looking at the top 3 med skuls in the states. One of which, twy twy is in...huraay, for her school...

well, before the pc went boot earlier, twy twy and i were actually talking about the cooleness of it all if we went to the same university...lol...oh dear...imagine the chaos. lol...with the fusion of our dark forces..*shudders*...

so, in all my excitement, i sent dadi another long update email with whats been going on here at AVRDC and about my thesis along with a dozen links linking him to ebaums world, newgrounds..joke...
to the schools i mean, including the American Medical Colleges Admissions System-a-jig with the MCAT...watever..and pretty much how i feel, and what ive looked up...

oh well, i have still a whole year to plan this out..

weepee...all this options is having me riled up...

btw, Chicken, we should seriously talk about this matter..youve been neglecting me too long.lol..
miss you chick, josh, and k.myk...guys, get on YM already....im like online the whole morning to the next morning and i still dont get to chat with you guys...

about my thesis, waaah...damn PCR Amplifications! this is my fourth attempt to magnify the amounts of IGS segment of ribosomal DNA. Zeke said it might have been the Taq polymerase...said that i should double the amounts next time i makea mix...sheesh...this better be right..
let tomorrow be my lucky day..i havnt even started my genetic diversity analysis and i only have 4 weeks left...I NEED THAT PCR PRODUCT!

Oh well its 8pm..and OMG...CSI. you wouldnt believe that AXN-taiwan has CSI on everynight...neat right?

Happy BDAY

2005-04-27T00:11:00.000+08:00

Happy BDAY

Abriel HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! wehehehe....di k n teen. lol. bkit k msydong mabait, ndi n dpat....matanda k na...buksan mo n mata mo...mwahahaha...

hahaha, hell no..
Abriel, sna ul be really really happy....
especially sa thesis...
mhhnap mo din un - si labs?..oo mhhnap mo un..
you wouldnt wait in vain...lol.
God bless in every endeavor, sna hngn kailn..mggng mabait k prin.
Abriel, isang tunay n Angel.....

Waah..works killing me.

2005-04-26T18:11:00.000+08:00

Waah..works killing me.

just got out of overtime. man, im not getting the results i should be getting...huhuhuhu...just finished with my 3rd attempt to successfully amplify the rDNA region, i hope all goes well..im not even halfway in this expt. Yesterday, was so busy at the green house...the whole day, i was counting 3000 seedlings, making 90 labels, preparing 30 "fungi smoothie" (where each time i had to wash the blender, so i washed the blender 30 freaking times!!!!), and then dipped each 3000 seedling, into the 30smoothies and replant them...lol. That last part took the whole afternoon, but i hadd 7 other research asst, greenhouse personnel and Zeke to help me out.
I guess after the basketball game last night, i was too tired to wake up any earlier..Oh well, i plan to sleep early tonight...hence this early post.

its silly, but have you guys ever felt being avoided...those downcast eyes, quick turnabouts, extremely quiet behavior...etc etc...its really irritating when the opposite party is so obvious and the reason for such is SO LAME. oh well..yada yada (translation: rant and ramble)...people get so pathethic sometimes...

money btw, is becoming so hard to handle...like all of a sudden this week, money just keep disappearing...i have no idea, what im spending it on...and, oh yeah..one more thing, iv also noticed that im quite lavish on food but thats accounted for...lol...hey, i cant help it ...but considering that im on a tight budget (= saving lots of money for pasalubong....hahaay..mga pinoy tlga...)...hmmm...

this is basically how i feel right now...lol.

"adik sa 'yo"
awit sa akin
nilang sawa na sa aking mga kuwentong marathon
tungkol sa 'yo
at sa ligayang
iyong hatid sa aking buhay
tuloy ang bida sa isipan ko'y ikaw

~sa umaga't sa gabisa
bawa't minutong lumilipas
hinahanap-hanap kita
hinahanap-hanap kita
sa isip at panaginip
bawa't pagpihit ng tadhana
hinahanap-hanap kita

sabik sa 'yo
kahit maghapon
na tayong magkasama parang telesine
ang ating ending
hatid sa bahay n'yo
sabay goodnight, sabay may kiss
sabay bye-bye

repeat ~

sa school sa flag ceremony
hanggang uwian araw-araw
hinahanap-hanap kita
hinahanap-hanap kita
at kahit na magka-anak kayo't
magkatuluyan balang araw
hahanap-hanapin kahahanap-hanapin ka

Rico Rocks.

2005-04-26T11:09:00.000+08:00

Bad Start...
well, it would be pathethic if i wrote everything again..
this will suffice...lol.

monsieurUnknown: i had a bad start..

monsieurUnknown: woke up to the sound of ringing..

monsieurUnknown: and to what i thought one of the gang imitating a chineses..

PinkIcingPrncess: yikes.

monsieurUnknown: she went "why are you not in work.."

PinkIcingPrncess: uh oh.

monsieurUnknown: and i was like (thinking it was a prank call), coz out the window it was like early morning

monsieurUnknown: "what time is it?"

monsieurUnknown: "9am...they are looking for you this is the cafeteria.."

PinkIcingPrncess: oh no

PinkIcingPrncess: lol

monsieurUnknown: and i was like...grabbing my pone..

monsieurUnknown: to look at the time..

monsieurUnknown: i really thought it was a joke..

monsieurUnknown: and IT WAS NINE AM!!!
monsieurUnknown: it was raining outside and it had me fooled..

monsieurUnknown: man..

PinkIcingPrncess: haha its always raining here

monsieurUnknown: so, i washed my face, put on mouthwash..

monsieurUnknown: and ran to the office..

monsieurUnknown: making petty excusesthat i overslept due to the nice weather..

monsieurUnknown: lol../

monsieurUnknown: oh well, its a good thing that taiwanese people are nice..

monsieurUnknown: lol..

there you have it....hope this doesnt get any worst...so far im waiting for my results..hope i get good ones...

zzzz...

2005-04-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

heres a thought:
why dont i get some rest?
its 1 in the morning already...
JAY SLEEP! go sleep na..
waah...

ok ok..
so im singing right...
milk and cereals...
milk and cereals..
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/milkandcereal.html

then the gang would go..
"the numa numa song"..
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/numanuma.html

ahhhhhhh...twy twy...why did you ever introduce me to these sites.
lol..

oh well...
do get a kick out of this.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/endofworld.html

well, seems the gang stills here..
singing rnb and our hearts out..
in the computer room
here in the admissions building..
its 1 in the morning!!!!!

2005-04-23T10:46:00.000+08:00

i want out..coz I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU! if dont even want to care anymore..i have more important people to be concerned about...
I HATE YOU! why is it so hard to show you care, that in words - i speak what every friend would...painful and frank but in the end, its your happiness i want to ensure..
I HATE YOU! for making me care, for allowing me to care and for not allowing me to when you needed it the most..
I HATE YOU! why did i have to develop a sense of concern, attachment. brotherly love, kuyaly love..whatever..
I HATE YOU! for making me stay up at night, wondering hell, where have you been..
I HATE YOU! for making me drink too much, just so i could watch you..when i should have been sleeping..
I HATE YOU! that night, when i called, waited at the game room, knocked at your day, slept at your door, heard you crying and freaking CARED!
I HATE YOU! i acted like a fool, and you played along with it...I CARE TOO MUCH, fuck...
I HATE YOU! for caring so much, its not uncalled for...im nobody, just a friend.
I HATE YOU! for the being one of the reasons for my long hot sad showers
I HATE YOU! you werent even deserving...
I HATE YOU! but as a close friend you are
I HATE YOU! for causing chaos within, confusion, uncertaintity..
I HATE YOU! coz you play with fire and i was never there..you never needed me
I HATE YOU! when thinking you think you can handle it, but fuck why am i the collateral damage.
I HATE YOU! when you cried when i askd if you love HIM.
I HATE YOU! that you werent sure..
I HATE YOU! that you love...for the wrong the reasons.
I HATE YOU! you made me bother, for making me a part of this, a part of you..
I HATE YOU! when you'r gone away,happy most probably, dwelling in the excitedness of adventure and love. and never cared how i felt, worried...

I HATE YOU! for being so insensitive...
I HATE YOU! for making me feel this way..
I HATE YOU! for allowing it so...
I HATE YOU! coz you thought i didnt LOVE YOU..............
and that i CARED so much.....

footnote: to people who have no idea about this post...dont give a shit ok? to the person, tucked safetly in my heart, you know who you are...hope you had a safe trip, this isnt about you nor about anything that you and i should be worried about....enjoy your mom's company!

YEAH!!!

2005-04-22T18:59:00.000+08:00

man, i feel good..
after leaving work earlier, i got to sget one good NAP..
well, im back online expecting someone online...sad an hours wait..and i doubt shes coming online.
but oh well, caught dan online...he was hiding though..lolz..but he dropped a line.
so we were chatting when he said if i was disappointed?

monsieur_unknown: i guess you can only love a person when you know her tlga..
monsieur_unknown: i mean in my case, the fact that she had me wait online doesnt get me disaapointed..
monsieur_unknown: cors everyone has their own set of flaws..
monsieur_unknown: when you love a person, you must have recognized those flaws already and accepted them..
dan : yeah
dan : i got that
dan : but i havent experience real love
monsieur_unknown: it really depends if you really really like a girl..
dan : nahh
dan : all the girls in sku are slutty
monsieur_unknown: if you easily get disappointed or atleast get disappointed then you dont like the girl at all..
monsieur_unknown: hahahaa..
dan : and the one who arent are just not my type
dan : except some
monsieur_unknown: well...maybe an international community aint the right place..
monsieur_unknown: Philippines is crawling with un-attended babes..
monsieur_unknown: lol..
monsieur_unknown: kidding..
monsieur_unknown: but youd rarely find someone slutty..
monsieur_unknown: back in the phil..

lol...oh well..so anyways...

i just wanted to announce to the whole world that my profile at friendster has been viewed 100 times since april 5...lol. thats 100/18 times a day!!!! hahaha, well, among the people iv seen using friendster..its everything compared to viewed 30+ times...hahaha.

oh well, i posted this just for kicks...thank God for good music writters..

dont get me wrong, i cant relate...or can i? lol...kidding Bestfriend...who ever you think youd be..lolz.

This Guys in love with you pare!!!

This guy's in love with you pare...ano?)

One look and then yun iba na

Malagkit dumikit ang tingin ng mata

One smile,iba na ang ibig sabihin

'di na friends,ang tingin nya sa akin

Everyday parating we're together

Every week,palaging may sleepover

Ang tawag nya sa mommy ko ay tita

Bakit ba,di ko non nakita

Bridge

Until out of the blue,

im feeling so true

Bigla nalang sinabi sa akin that

Chorus

This guy's in love with you pare,

This guy's in love with you pare

This guy's in love wiyh you pare

Bading na bading sayo..

Di na ako makasagot ng telepono

Palagi nyang kinakausap ang parents ko

Kulang daw sa tulog at di na makakain

Bakit ba? di pa non inamin

Repeat bridge and chorus

Everyday daw ay rainy day ang monday

'coz 'di na ko maaya to come out and play

Tinataguan na nga,palaging late o absent

Ang sabi parin "i'll always have a friend that you can depend

"Oohh... Di kailangan na mag-oonn...

Parang talong at bagoooong...

This guy's in love with you pare

Bading na bading Converted parin

Na nakikipag-fling sayo..

Repeat chorus with..

Oh no! my bestfriend's gay

It's the same old friend i had yesterday

And he's happy.. and gay... Yeah..yeah.. Na na na nananana na nanan na (2x)

Chito ROCKS!!!!

Wla msbi..

2005-04-22T15:31:00.000+08:00

my room was still a mess, clothes scattered here and there, misplaced chairs, an upturned readers digest, my burmese bag on the floor and papers, results, a spoon and a cup all splurged on the table...
a small ray of light peaks in through the curtains i never fail to close at night while clothes spill out of never closed closets..ah...the stench of my room, what better way to wake up..

its easy to shake my boxers off and run naked to the CR, forgetting my towel...yeah, i knew was late and the rumbling in my tummy tells me that it is going to be one hard morning, i missed breakfast. Oh well, theres plenty of work to do in the lab and for the past 4 days, thats all ive been doing, day in, day out..thesis thesis thesis...

This is how it is, my daily rountine. Well, i wake up usually the earliest among the 6 other people who i share my hectic life here at AVRDC, after a long hot shower, id race to Dr. Engle's Residence, the kind Dr. E who ive told you about that lends us her kitchen, dining table, ref and everything in it (well, of course we do the cooking and the dishing..while she, as easy as she is pleased, compliments every dish prepared...)...At Dr. E's, breakfast is usually bread, butter, grape/blueberry jam (or whatever jam we'd find in the ref) and Coffee..that would be about 7am, and work is just 45 minutes away...by the time, i arranged the table, filled the kettle and had her whisting, the others would be drying them sleepy asses and putting on some decent clothes...well, i cant blame them, who wouldnt after sleeping at 1am or 2am....so when everythings set... i call in the manner like so...
dial 880, "aiza, pnta k n d2...kumain k na" "d p ako nka ligo" "ok lng yan, kmi din...bilis pnta k n d2 huh"...
dial 879, "kat!...pnta k n d2, breakfast is done...bilis" "ok im putting on my clothes now..."
dial 878, "hoy babae ka, where were you last night?...kumain k n d2..." "kkgcng ko lng, d p ako nkligo" "eh so? kmi din eh, bsta pnta k n d2 and eat, mia, ha?...bilis bilis..."
dial 877 "Abriel....i thot i knew you, once again, you used me...oi...lets eat..." "ha! ndi p ako nkligo..." "ok lng yan, ako din eh...bsta pnta k n d2, kaw nlng kulang..."
dial 875 ring...ring...ring...ring "Wei? kantin..." *drops reciever.....
dial 882 "hoy manne...gcing na!" "eh tntmad ako.." "cge na..you have to eat...icge na..bagon n" "cge, prepare kau ng coffee" "ang kapal ng mukha mo...bhla k..wag k n pumnta d2!!!" *drops reciever*
pone rings "Nei How Mah?" "hoy jasper...kapal din ng mukha mo!" "Wei?"

well, today morning, i didnt have breakfast...sad. real sad...
at work, first thing i do is place my bag on my table and switch my computer on..
then i walk into the lab and do work..
at breaks, when the automated part of my experiments gives me the chance to come back to my office and wait, say, 15-30 minutes, id seat in front of the computer, w/c automatically logs in on YM, AIM, Chikka, and checks mail upon boot...and chat, check email...chat, reply email, friendster..blog, if the timed 30 minutes hasnt set off the timer's alarm.

before i know it, its luch break...11:30...by that time, its either i send to every one in my AVRDC group in my YM, "lets eat" or someone drops a lines and sezs "kain tau..."...

well, i was hungry..
and i couldnt resist telling the chinese dude to keep on adding more rice...4 cups i guess, so it was a really huge pile...Ian couldnt stop laughing. When the dude gave it to the chinese gal next to him, the one who'd place the ulam..she went "whaaat?" extremely shocked at how much a thin guy like me can take on....guttony b un?
oh well, i pointed at the tempting chicken curry then i pointed to another dish that was just as tempting..i was wanting to get some macaronni...pero nhiya ako...sobrng loaded ang plato ko..prng buffet. oh well...58 NT.

by the time i finished, i was really really full..,.sbi ko sa sarili ko, grabeh..if i keep this up....ttba tlga ako...
it was amazing i got to walk 100 yards to the lab despite my full full stomach..lol. oh well...

by now youd think im halfway through...hahaha...hell no...
but well as of this post. it ends here...it 4pm, and amazingly i have no more work for the day. WEll, actually i have to come back to the lab at 7pm...but thats still 3 hours away and i think i want some shuteye...im still full from lunch..lol.

Updates...

2005-04-19T16:53:00.000+08:00

So what have i been so busy with lately?

well, offline there's lab work.
im on the verge of starting my thesis proper, so im speeding about the practice RFLP, PCR, Electrophoresis experiments while mastering the art of precise sample loading using yellow tipped pipettors (those who knew my hands would know how much trouble and effort i would have to go through...)..hahaay. and the number of samples iv been practicing on is just the glimpse of what ill be doing tomorrow. gulp...

2moro, ill be extracting DNA from 30 fungi samples...waah. with the newbish pace im working at, which is so slow, i am threatened with the limited time i have, not to mention my scehdule is crammed up already. speaking of schedules, lam mo n delay isang part ng experiment ko...Man, that is so not good. My tomato plants are still small, Zeke said maybe it was improper water management by the greenhouse personnel. Man, so n delay ako by one week...buti nlng ndi interconnected experiments ko, so while n delay and greenhouse expt ko, i can concentrate on the molecular level of my thesis...hehehe.

Online, i was able to catch-up-on with my kababata..si twyla (childhood sweetheart actually..lol, but that was 16 years ago, i think, and we havnt seen each other13 years after "that" - our relationship, lol...twyla, you better not be reading this, sorry for the lack of creative words...hehehehe...). Well, it started when i had nothing to do online. So i decided to well google about stuff....
and maybe with all the thinking about thailand brought about by chatting with dan, twyla just popped in my head..."oo nga noh, i wonder how she's doing?"
last time i saw her ksi was 3 years ago, she lives in the States but that time she had her vacation sa Phil...where we got the chance to meet.

TWYLA SAMPACO...>go google...

and *tada*....3 emails and one chat session on AIM. galing noh? it was neat knowing how shes doing...

i also was busy with sending daddy one heck of an update-email. Not that he asked for one, but because i was in the mood to make one. I also didnt want him to get all worried and have me feeling guilty in the end for not caring...hehehe. Dad's good at that...reverse psychology.

Oh well, its way past office hours and im still sitting here sa office. tsk tsk...i should rest for tomorrow's sactivities...madmi un!

sunday mornings..

2005-04-17T18:57:00.000+08:00

i found the answer to my loneliness,the reasons for my restlessness at bed, a sought someone and the desire to be understood.

no one does, here, at AVRDC i mean. its crazy sometimes i feel so constrained. i dont really get to express what i want to express or be who i know id be. its all about adjustment, i know...and they say im quite versatile. but lately, ewan ko ba...

maybe its just feeling the weight of not being in my comfort zone, brought about by the fading excitement i first felt coming to AVRDC. haay...di to homesick i know, i mean i still want to be here and experience new stuff...pero sna atleast, i could like be myself outside the four corners of my room. well, yeah, sa kwarto i could be myself, i could think the way i could, express everything i want to..pero its pointless talking to yourself, or looking at the mirror, or maybe just sprawled in the bathroom floor letting hot water just drown you in your thoughts. haay...its pointless when you dont have anyone to be physically present, to comfort you.

im not love sick, im not lonely, im not heart broken. dont get my wrong, im not depressed either.
i think im just misunderstood in the environment i am in..
among the people im with everyday..
eh paano>?
ibang iba eh...well, cultural differences...especially at the dining table, or like when hanging out sa isang house. haay, my thwang aint helping either nor does my type of fun. to make matters worst, my astigmatism makes me UBER KJ. haay..
oh well, sbi nga ni kuya manny..
"eh cnu mgAADJUST?"
um 1 vs 6?...well, ako dapat...and i am.
pero ung nga...atleast once in a while in the presence of someone i love, i can just be me.

went to church earlier today, this time with Dr Palada and his two nephews: kuya jed and kuya myk. the church, Nantze Higher Grounds Community Church, was at Kaoshiung, an hour drive away. It was a small fellwoship , mainly OFWS and has quite the same religious traditions with the churches i attended back home. so the spiritual part of me had a great time.
funny coz the message kinda of strucked me in a way that had me guilty and actually made me realize all this.
well, they were having their PDL drive and the pastor was tackling on the fifth purpose as according to Rick Warren. mejo nguilty ako, ksi the lack of expressing my belief, i know, plays a big part in the feeling of emptiness within me.

haay..i need serious praying over, and i need to think about alot of things especially the reasons why God has brought me here.

oh well, 2 hours n ako d2. i meant only to work on my blog pero john came online..
hahahaha...an answer to my prayers really...queer i still went through writing this blog..
pero the chatting, i bet, is enough to last me the week...:D

oh dear..its dinner time na.

Comic Strip

2005-04-14T21:34:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha...i was reading the China Post earlier this evening when i came across this Comic Strip....i couldnt help but laugh...

for the women in my life who i've encountered back then when i was still torpe....
click HERE for an enlarged and clearer version.

Oh btw, i reread my whole blog...hahaay...memories.

2005-04-14T14:38:00.001+08:00

Hey guys! heres my Research Outline for my two month stay in Taiwan...

Title: Race Determination and Intergenic Spacer (IGS) haplotype analysis of tomato Fusarium wilt isolates collected in Taiwan

Duration: 1 Apr. to 31 May

Objectives:
1. Determine the physiological race and IGS-RFLP (Restricted Fragment Length Polymorphism)haplotype of tomato fusarium wilt pathogens collected in Taiwan.
2. Examine the genetic diversity of Taiwan population (Fusarium oxysporum f.sp. lycopersici) through the IGS-RFLP analysis by modifying various enzymes
3. Understanding the relationship among races, IGS-RFLP haplotyp and geographic origins.

Time Table:

Race Determination and Pathogenicity Test
01-05 Apr. Familiarize Lab operations and review references
06 Apr. Sow Seed in Greenhouse
11 Apr. Inoculum propagation
20 Apr. Artificial Inoculation
05 May Evaluation of disease Reactions

IGS-RFLP Haplotype Analysis
04-17 Apr Fungal Propagation
18-29 Apr DNA extraction
02-06 Apr PCR Amplification
09-20 May RFLP analysis

Report Writting
23-31 May

cool huh? waah, may heads aching bad, didnt do anything today but read and reread related studies on my thesis. im rewriting my outline and i just need more indepth conceptualizing on the subject matter. Man, there are so much issues to tackle on...so much that i cant even start my introduction, feeling ko if i keep up with this pace, id be conceptualizing a book or a nation-wide "do-able" project for back home, lol...now, when will i graduate? i think i just need a bit of rest.

Oh btw, thanks lil bro for enrolling me for summer.

Oh yah, i cant say if its good news or bad news..so ul just have to tell me.
My grades last sem:

Bio120 (Cell Biology) - 1.50
Mcb 120 (Micro Physiology)- 1.0
Mcb 102 (Virology)- 1.75
Hum 1 (Literature)- 1.75
Eng 10 (Research Proposal Writting) - 1.75
Fil 20 (Filipino Literature) - 2.25

Average: 1.67 (College Scholar) ---Huraaah Huraaah?
Man, i dont know how much damage that'll cost to my total GWA...hahaay.
according to my mom, not that shes pressuring me, i need to get a 1.3 average up for my last two sems to push for Magna Cumlaude.

Oh well....alam ko kya ko to.

Cant get this song out of my HEAD

2005-04-14T09:17:00.000+08:00

Cant get this song out of my HEAD

Its yet to be determined, but the air is thick, and my hope is feeling worn, im glad youre not a part of this, coz theres parts of me that will be miss...

And the phone is always dead to me, and i cant tell you the temperature is dropping and it feels like...

Its colder than it ought to be in March [April], and i still got a day [month] or two ahead of me till ill be heading home, into your arms again...

And the people here are asking after you. It doesnt make it easier. It doesnt make it easier to be away (to be away)....

id like to hire a plane. I'd see you in the morning, when the day is fresh, im coming home again, coming home again, coming home again. When the day is fresh im coming home again.

Its warmer where youre waiting. It feels more like July. Theres pillows in their cases, and one of those is mine. And you [I] wrote the words I LOVE YOU and sprayed it with perfume. Its better than the fire is to heat this lonely room. Its warmer where youre waiting...it feels more like July, it feel more like July..

Its yet to be determined, but the air is thick, and my hope is feeling worn, im glad youre not a part of this, coz theres parts of me that will be miss...

And the phone is always dead to me, and i cant tell you the temperature is dropping and it feels like...
Its colder than it ought to be in March [April], and i still got a day [month] or two ahead of me till ill be heading home, into your arms again...

And the people here are asking after you. It doesnt make it easier. It doesnt make it easier to be away (to be away)....

id like to hire a plane. I'd see you in the morning, when the day is fresh, im coming home again, coming home again, coming home again. When the day is fresh im coming home again.

-dashboard confessionals

2005-04-13T16:40:00.000+08:00

NAVS astig! @NAC/.....these are the people i miss...hahaay....

waah...

2005-04-12T17:45:00.000+08:00

waah...

grabeh...8 hours na ako nkharap sa computer..
supersakit na ulo ko.

oh well, didnt do much xcept for making potato dextrose agar. that only took an hour or so, so the rest of the day i just kept myself entertained in front of the computer. and i found a really neat skin, not that i sing or anything but hell would i want to dance to the beat and rhythm of my life..so why not make music, eh?

oh well, it isnt totally personalized yet...i have much to fix especially the starting poem, sooner or later i can strip that out coz...well...i know im happy.

in the afternoon, quite a number of people went online. missed people at that, and i had a good time chatting with them..
my supervisor, whos name i finally comprehended to be "Zeke", however, did call my attention when he demonstrated how to isolate a fungal isolate from a plant. Well, Zeke showed me how to isolate phytophorans from a hot pepper plant, nevertheless he did say that the protocol is similiar if id isolate Fusarium oxysporum (the fungi il be working on) from tomato plants. It was funny coz i brought up an issue i read about whether or not it is recommendable or advisable to disinfect the surface of the cortical/vascular tissues before isolation. well, he said "yeah"...they usually use clorex..what?..Chlorex...we even spelled it out.. CHLOREX..
eventually since i really couldnt identify what disinfectant he was talking about, i just nod in acknowledgement..
malay mo, ndi ko tlga alam..
well, not till he pulled out this big bottle of CHLOROX...lol!!!!
hehehehe..

oh well, thats all for the day.
someone came in the computer room and is competiting with the air i claimed to be mine. ang kapal nmn n mukha ksi bigla cya ngplay ng loud music...jologs pa. eh knna pa ako d2 ah..
respeto nmn...haay kng di lng cya tga Laos,hihirit sna ako..
lol..
oh well..as i said respeto nlng...

aalis nlng ako...

2005-04-12T10:35:00.000+08:00

in one of the rooms...kay kuya jed yata ito...the punk guy with the wierd look in his face...yeah thats him. i extremly have a good time bonding with the filipinos here at AVRDC. They stick up for each other and often hangout - mostly relating the day's work and experiences involving intercultural difficulties. OH we just love to do accents...

2005-04-12T10:26:00.000+08:00

fellow trainees from UPLB here at AVRDC (aka, accrding to us, Audio Visual Room of Dev Com)..hehehehe...from top left to buttom right: kaye, abel, aiza, mia, ME, and ian

letting go...

2005-04-11T18:49:00.000+08:00

a thought to ponder on....
especially for several people i know...you know who you guys are.

To let go doesnt mean to stop caring,
it means that I cant do it for someone else

To let go is not to cut myself off,
its the realization that I dont control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to tale each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and to love more……

taken without permission from a blogspot of a goodfriend.

love to be a kid again

2005-04-11T18:10:00.000+08:00

love to be a kid again

chatting with a 14 year old kid..dan, kbbta to ni john. not that its something silly, i mean, he's my brothers age..and we're having those kuya-manghud kinda talks..inspiring in way that you'd realized that life is really simple, and age, the older it gets is, just currupting it by making it so complex. when you get old you realize that there so much more to it..and yet you act childish prin ksi you fail to see the bigger picture.

i wanna be that kid again, you know, when crushes are major problems and reasons for acting so depressed is simply coz, well, ur crush isnt living up to ur standards or that ur crush doesnt like you back.lol, when problems arnt as big as considering relationships, other poeple's feelings, work, family...etc etc. Its funny coz alam ko din, n there are more deeper shit in life than..and im lucky enough not to go through all that, not to mention that there are also other bigger problems ill be facing when i get older...

hahaay...i wanna be that kid again.

well,we've been chatting for 3-4 hours now, and im late for dinner..

at work, ran PCR. didnt get good results tho...

gb, may friends just PM me..

see yeah.

broken

2005-04-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

broken - seather and amy lee

im in no mood to relate my day. it was suppose to be about how we road a train to church, that the church was catholic and how much religiosity has corrupted the way christians, in generally, think about each other, the sense of hapiness i felt when in the train i heard a chinese man sing "amaing grace" in chinese out loud. i was inspired by his faith and how hungry he was for GOd's love and word.

sadly, everything went down the drain...

haay...i never realized i wuld chat with alot of people sa YM. and each had different issues to deal with. missed friends, misunderstood ones and my ex. me and my ex said alot of things, remorse and well, im hurting. i never realized that i have been avoiding all signs of remorse and feelings of lost. haay...these are just stirred up feelings because of our miscommunication. we need to let go...we are...we will be, eventually. we have to...

ako nlng isa d2 sa pc rooms...its getting too lonely...

another of those untitled ones

2005-04-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

another of those untitled ones

nothing much happened today. aside from waking up late coz we stayed at kuya manny's room the other night, we went straight to the market without taking a bath or breakfast. after the market, we had lunch - my tinola tas we did our laundry. Grabeh, ang arte ng washing machines nila d2. and sosyal kmi! we had a dryer. prob was it takes hours. well, the washing process....soaking, prewashing, washing and rinsing - all done by the maching would, well, takes alot of time...i could imagine how much water and electricity it consumes by having everything done automatically. cguro one batch would take 45 minutes, tas an hour for the dryer to have our clothes really dry. so basically, all we did was wait...watch tv at kumain kmi ng kumain. lol, sna when i get back...buffed na ako.

so eto, 9.30pm, we decided to finally take a shower..most of our clothes are done, except for the last batch of clothes we left spinning in the dryer...and end up doing everything we have to do sa net.lol.

oh btw, got to watch mr deeds...had a good laugh, though i did get a bit..well..."emotional" at some mushy parts. haay..

i try...."i try" macy grey

Work work Work...

2005-04-08T13:06:00.001+08:00

Work work Work...

wow! ang sarap tlga mg trabaho! my computer is fixed and i havnt been doing anything the whole afternoon that isnt internet related.lol.

oh well, as you can seen i hvnt written a post for two days na...coz sobrng bz ako.
The other day, one of the research assistants briefed me with the research protocols and methodologies that i will be using, namely fungi DNA extraction. Well, we also ran out of alot of buffers and reagents needed for the small experiment so, i found myself, running all over the lab, weighing, staring at graduated cyclinders and eventually washing every dang glassware i used. Nkkpagod in fairness (to whom?)...in fairness to the supposed simplicity of the task. By the end of the day, i was able to run my DNA extract through electrophoresis, determine the DNA concentration and adjust each sample to [20ug/uL].

yesterday, i planted 3 varieties of tomatoes for my research (w/c is btw: Race determination and IGS haplotype analysis of Fusarium Wilt Pathogens in Taiwan)...well, for each variety, there were 7 trays, each tray had 240 seeds that needed to be planted at equal distances to each other (12 columns X 20 rows). so mind you 240 seeds by hand in each tray. Buti nlng, there were 3 other workers or rather greenhouse assistants who helped me put peat moss into each tray, make small furrows, and plant as well. it was tiring, mind you.
By the time we finished, it was lunch time.

In the afternoon, i was free. but i decide to sleep instead of wasting myself in the computer room. lol.

Today, i was finally able to work on the 30 isolates of fusarium oxysporum f.sp. lycopersici (the causative agent of fusarium wilt in tomatoes of course). Sympre, lahat ng isolates came from stored spores in silica gel. So, firstly, first thing in the morning, i prepared the Potato Dextrose Agar (PDA), the media in w/c i shall propogate the isolates to work on. I think i made about 3L and prepared 30 plates for the fungal propagation. THe propagation, itself was easier than expected, just pour in the silica gel particles, maybe around 20 crystals or so, onto the PDA plates. By lunch, tapos na ako.

And i havnt been doing anything else except pretend that im researching in my room. lol.

haay..4pm na.

i posted a poll on the NAVS yGroup...\lol...first time ko mggnyn..
sna mdmi ssgot dun.

thats all for now.

clear and bright day

2005-04-05T17:24:00.000+08:00

clear and bright day

that is the holiday celebrated by the chinese/taiwanese today. first two days into work and we already get a holiday.lol.

but anyways, since the canteen was closed for the day, the group decided to take on the invitation that one of the resident staff offered since the day we arrive- that we can abuse her kitchen.lol.

well, mia and i are the only ones who really know how to cook among the six. So we did. for breakfast, i offered my very own dish..."corn beef ala cheese"..hehehehe. but i think i put to much cheese but, anyhow, the boys did enjoyed.

after breakfast, kuya jed, one of the filipino interns, toured us downtown where we were able to go to the public market and govt supermarket (it was 15 minutes by bike, you could imagine that all 7 of us were biking along the highway...good thing they what exists as a "bicycle lane") Goodness, you should have seen the local produce...ang LAKI LAKI! promise and considering the prices. large "RADISH", large and long "TALONG".

haay...it sucks that all we could do was compare taiwan and the Phil...sna atleast something could have been said which comparison made philippine better, sadly from everything we saw: personality of the people to cleanliness to the agricultural produce - taiwan is way better. :(

at the supermarket, every commercial item: detergents, shampoos, what ever, where bought by bulk. And not only are they bought by bulk but they were HUGE too...
like the shampoos for example, you wont find those miniture or the average size ones that filipinos buy back home but rather XXLARGE. i bet filipinos are the only ones that invented SATCHETS.

well, we bought things by bulk so the group decided to buy as a group. first thing on the list, tissue paper,,than coffee, than LAYS (w/c just cost around 25 pesos, the medium large ones..cheap noh>?) than HERSHEYS (w/c four bars just cost 60 pesos)...lol...later when we decided to eat one of them bars, we discovered it was actually an imitation...lol...KERSHEYS.

so for lunch
we had tilapia and sinigan. and to think, i recieved complements for my cooking. lol..
oh dear...its six pm.

i just dropped by the computer room to print my research outline for edition.
my friends are nagging me to start cooking..

hahaay...jasper, the ACRDC trainee and COOK.lol..

work and luxury...i cant tell the difference.

2005-04-04T20:40:00.000+08:00

work and luxury...i cant tell the difference.

lol...i swear. atlast, finally...lumabas na ako sa bansa. haay, not that i was looking forward to leave the country, its just that recently, phillippines was experiencing spells of extreme heat! it was just 4 days ago when temperatures went up to 37 degrees celcius. grabeh.

oh well,, i never expected the Asian Vegetable Research and Development Center (AVRDC) campus to be what it is. its a small campus really, the main buildings - the admin, the dormitory, and the laboratories- are all centered around a rotonda, the green houses and the experimental fields just around the perimeter while the staff housing occupied most of the campus - maybe around 20 or so houses. But considering the facilities, recreational facilities that is...theres a pool at the far end of the campus, 2 tennis courts, a basketball court, a volleyball court,and game room - 4 Table tennis tables, 2 pool tables and a table soccer set. The dormitories has a big TV room with really cozy coaches. Our rooms - our very own rooms with individual CRs, our own internet line (sadly, i didnt bring a laptop), and airconditioned - had me sleeping soundly on the first night especailly after the long nice hot shower. It was the first time i left the CR open, dried only inside the CR and walked around naked in my room...of course i doubled check the doors to make sure they lock tight...eventually noticing, after i changed, that i forgot to pull down the curtains. lol. The canteen, found in between the two wings of the dormitory, is so generous. Haay, for once in my life did i meet people who are so service oriented instead of typical filipinos who are undenyingly profit-oriented. Servings of rice depended on how much you nod your head or shook it. Of course with occasional baroque and hard "ok, ok..."..oh did i mention it? the place is in taiwan. specifically Shan Hua, Tainan- alittle bit north of Kaoshiung, w/c is an hour and 25minutes away from manila by air....the consessionares were chinese, or taiwanese as most of them believe they are. Much to my previous dislike of chineses food especially ones served in chow king, has my taste change lest of course the cook is really chinese or, as according to rumors, has a tastebud for MSGs.

The administration building which houses the game room, the training center, the bank, post office, operator and, my favorite place to hang out as of the moment, the computer room is open 24-7. ALl you have to do is leave the dormitory, walk down the rotonda, bracing yourself coz its really cold at night, push the door, climb to the 3rd floor and wla...unlimted access to friendster, chat...etc...surfing galore.

Anyways, the laboratories and green house facilities were commendable, well, as much as i expect them to be considering this is an international research organization. Today was our first day. Office hours is unusual here at AVRDC. in the morning, office starts at 7.45am and closes for lunch at 11.45am. After a one hour lunch break, office resumes at 12.45pm and goes on for another 4 hours. Well, we - me and other fellow trainees, all from UPLB, namely mia, abriel, izza, katrina and ian - had our orientation first thing in the morning. Then we had our phitos taken form another service oriented photographer, had bikes assigned to us, biking btw is the main form of transportation especially within the campus and going downtown, and lastly was introduced to our respectively adivsers.

My adviser is Dr. Tien Chen Wang, the head of the mycology unit in AVRDC. He seems to be in his mid 40s and is extremely straight forward. His hard english brought about by his heavy chinese is extremly hard to comprehend. And i had to, well hesitating at first until i couldnt uderstand time and again, ask him to repeat everything he said. silly filipino. But he was nice. So he showed me around the office, the greenhouse which was 5 minutes walk from the laboratory, after which he showed me an empty room - mind you, an office room - complete with a big table, a computer and a big comfty office chair, like those executive ones - "you can stay here". Wow, well he handed me a simple research outline along with my skedule for the next 2 months and 6 reference journals to read. SO thats whst i did for 6 hours...trust me it was tiring. well, it was a good thing i made a research outline for my adviser at UPLB and was able to come across most of the journals Dr. Wang assigned for me to read. Sadly, the monitor power cord was missing...so i wasnt able to have the computer keep me company especially when i was trying not to fall asleep. Finally, when i was done with the journals, i asked my boss to excuse me or rather i found the perfect excuse to leave - "Dr Wang , would it be ok if i went to the computer room to read more references"...duh, read more ref my ass. hehehe.

Ah un...first thing i did in the computer room was to download chikka, enhance the YM and sent text messages to special people, coaxing them to come online to chat. One of those specially special people did...hehehe. love ko un.

dinner at the canteen is served at 5.30pm since they close at 6.30. And as i said there generosity had my stomach filled ultimately.lol. after dinner, my fellow trainees went biking around the campus and at around 7.30pm we parked at the front of the admin building. And abuse the use of the game room. We had a kick out of the table soccer - well since there are 4 lanes of players to control per team what we did is that we fought two vs two.

After playing to we just got bored with too much fun, we decided to go upstairs to the computer room. lol, its 11pm now. And im tired...i think ill ask my friends to go to sleep na.

zzzz...

bye guys...

i love you....so much.

lala...

2005-03-28T18:03:00.000+08:00

ok ito na.
2 months in taiwan, just want you guys to know...
ill be updating my blog bout mi adventures dun..
lolz..

classroom daydreams: bla bla bla..

2004-12-14T08:43:00.000+08:00

classroom daydreams: bla bla bla..

Waah...its about 2 months since i last wrote here. bummer. pacencya na ksi sobrang busy...hehehehe...despite the fact that im online everyday. Oh well, i did have several attempts but due to the post's profoundness - you know, those in-depth discussions i thought "blog-able" - eh, kulang tlga sa time.

Actually offline tlga ako ngyn, sitting in my virology class, pretending to jot a note or two. I guess the holiday bug did bit me and i feel like laxing the week off. eh...i still have 3 exams - 2 tomorrow and 1 on the last day of classes for this year. bad trip, no? Hahaay...buti nlng nxt yr pa ang exam d2 sa virology. hahahaha, i v already given up on taking down notes in this class ksi sobrng bilis ang pace ng lecture. i guess i just have to hold on to our prof's promise on giving out lecture notes before the holidays.

Just last saturday, dad and i went to Mnla to "scavenge" for a good phone. My 3310 went broke and i demanded it to be unfixed as so to get a new and better one. Sympre, i did do my research, contemplating on what do i want in a phone and how much im willing to spend for it. Mind you, IM BUYING my own phone...sadly, 12k lng pera ko. Pretty much tight considering i want an MP3 player on it and it has to have a cam.

Lumapit din ako sa isang expert..lol. cnu pa ba? eh..si kuya myk. I really didnt want to buy thoes nokia application phones coz comparing it to a phone designed to have mp3, well...you know na. also, gamit na ang mga 12k below na NOKIA PHONES and the latest models are way too expensive. Anyways, what i got from k.myk is that motorola models are bset for MP3's and the latest model out int he market was...well, i forgot.lol.

Well, that sat, alot of models did come across my budget...and they were camera phones, even with a neat 65k color whatchemecalit. but no MP3 capability thingmajing. I did come across a sony ericsson k500, it had MP3, it had a cam...and it cost only 11.6k. prob is..the MEMORY>..10MB!!! grabeh...anu un? 2-5 songs lng?

the latest version on the k500 is the k700i, add 5 k bucks to the price and a decent 30MB additional (an hour of Mp3 playtime). its got the Bluetooth tech and a more decent cam specs. prob is, i dont have the 5k bucks...

hahaay..
after searching ever single cyber bazaar at SM MEGAMALL, i had to sit down and contemplate whether or not i was that rash to buy a SE k500 that day or sit a month or so, saving up for the 5k. hahaha...buti nlng dad ended up the "crisis" by promising me 8k next month...weepee!!!

then we ate at pizza hut, got a free wristwatch..its cheap really...lol. then headed off home, d2 sa elbi.

then there was yesterday. i was able to "google" the k700i and a motorola E-398, a phone i only saw once sa mall, but pretty much neglected it coz it priced around 18-19k. and lo and behold , upon comparing the two..
hehehe..
WOW.
(for you references...lol) motorola e398: http://www.mobile-review.com/review/motorola-e398-en.shtml
Sony ericsson k700i: http://www.sonyericsson.com/spg.jsp?cc=ph&lc=en&ver=4000&template=pp1_loader&php=php1_10139&zone=pp&pid=10139&lm=pp1

wla lng...a tale on desiring which phone ill be getting nxt month. lol..but as of now, life does go on even without a cellphone (gess...i can attest to that.)...

yeepee, class dismissed. im outta here...

Womanangerie

2004-12-10T16:51:00.000+08:00

Womangerie

uhhuh...the first ever concert that i went to with my girlfriend.
was really awesome coz we got to see kitchie nadal, mymp and moonstar88 play their hits.
most of w/c, had me find my arms around my girl's waist...and just embracing her till the songs were over...God, did it felt good...

i had a good time...
she did too...

kudos

2004-10-27T17:50:00.000+08:00

kudos to my girlfriend, for a job well done in fixing up her blog. astig tlga...two thumbs up. naingit tuloy, thats y im writing here.

whats new?
i got a new sim, sun cellular, despite the fact that for the past several years ive been degrading the network. "everything's under the sun, except in davao!!!"
hhehehe...
well, until they came up with a promo, actually an act of desperation to gain users, that allows you to call sun to sun and send txt msgs for FREE!!!! 24-7 as the promo goes!

well...miss ko na baby ko, so we had to avail for the sim. and right now, we talk almost about every hour, acting as if we were filthy rich!!! hahahaha....

damn, i miss davao so...
earlier i stuffed myself with all the types of fruits i have been deprived of in elbi for ten long months!!!
DURIAN, SUHA, LANZONES, MANGOES...and not to mention mom's cooking!!!!
aside from eating, i get to sleep in my OWN QUEEN SIZE BED, even if i share with my bro, coz he kinda likes my bed and just wants to bond with me (the only time he could, coz he has classes in the morning); i get to take HOT SHOWERS, listen to the latest music, play games on my computer the whole day...
hahahahaha...

interesting, coz the only pipz i met here in davao are mostly from elbi din...shouldnt i be miting people that ive missed so much? hehehehe, oh well...
pacncya nlng sa ndi k maMIT...wela ksi akng lod, tas ndi ko p nlipat ung mga important numbers from my globe to sun. oh well, i wouldnt be using my sun sim permanantly, its just that my weekly allowance for mobile communication is in that sim. hehehehe...

hehehe, buti p si pempem, he just shos up sa bahay and sleeps over...
haay...i had fun bonding with him. sympre, we had alot of ketchuping to do...and we did. i guess, sha tlga ang one of those friends that will never fade and doesnt require "high" maintainance, something im not good at...hahahaha...

oh well...

d2 muna ako...

im waiting for my bro, but i have other online resposibilities to attend to... *winks*

quote:

2004-10-12T20:13:00.000+08:00

quote daw: (guy speaking) "girls drive us crazy, but we'd be crazier without them" ...really now?

GNBN

2004-10-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

Good News: i passed VMCB124...
Bad News: 2.75!!! leche....

wla lng...

2004-10-11T18:17:00.000+08:00

a friend sent me this msg:

isang gabi, nglalakad tayo..
ngkwentohan...
tawanan...
ngliwaliw...
hnhng mapunta sa...

cemeteryo...

may nakita kang puntud may pangalan ko...

pglingn mo..

wla ako..

anu ggwin mo?

i replied:

"shet...ikaw din?...since when?"

Strange

2004-10-11T18:14:00.000+08:00

strange: i once noticed a butterfly stalking me...since when did they fly that fast?

shoutout

2004-10-10T11:39:00.000+08:00

shoutout: i hate it when people think im hiding a relationship. I LOVE PAULA CORINNA ABESAMIS...and i happen to be the luckiest man to be her BOYFRIEND! there(period).

thanks

2004-10-10T11:37:00.000+08:00

to the man who patted my back while last night tears fell: thanks!

irony

2004-10-10T10:54:00.000+08:00

Irony

virgin: sex?...everyone does it...

question

2004-10-09T13:13:00.000+08:00

addiction: why do everytime i close my eyes i see you upclose like when you're kissing me?

dejavu

2004-10-09T13:06:00.000+08:00

dejavu: someone once asked me, "what would you do when you found out that your close friend was gay"...i smiled...told him, "does it bother you?...dont let it affect your friendship..."

Just a ThoughtII

2004-10-09T13:04:00.000+08:00

thought: i hate it when you leave...

Just a Thought

2004-10-08T22:02:00.000+08:00

cliche: i cant bear the thought of losing you...

New Skin!!!!

2004-10-08T10:38:00.000+08:00

New Skin!!!!

wehehehehe..
october NA!!!!!! new RID RAMS...

hell week is over atlast...
now i just have to deal with the rest of my reqts..

a persuasion speech
a term paper for the identification of my bacteria unknown: Pseudomonas sp
(you wouldnt believe all the things i had to go through just to confirm the genus)
mcb 101 lab theoretical exam on monday
a moving mcb 101 lab exam (practical) on thursday.
finals for MATH1 next friday!

and on saturday, 5am...
ill be boarding a flight for davao..

yepeee...
10 months since iv last been home. i MISS MY BED...hahahaha.

thats 7 days in counting.

7 more days...

oh well, it took me two hours to edit this new RID RAM skin...hehehehe.
i still have to wash tons and tons of laundry.
i was that busy not to wash my clothes for 3 weeks!!! hahahaha...
buti nlng marami akng clothes...lol.

oh yah...one more thing. september 26 was a special day. 3.30 pm...just wanted the whole world to know...someone became extra SPECIAL...mahal ko un!

2004-10-01T10:10:00.000+08:00

to those who maybe could relate...hehehe..had nothing to post...

ewan ko ba, i cant relate to this either...heheheh.

Ewan Ko Ba...

Oo na nga.. gabi na, alas dose n ng hating gabi.. mahirap talga matulog sa lagay nato.. leche naman kasing admin yan e.. kulang ang bingay sakin n subject.. hay..

ewan ko ba..

ewan ko ba kung bakit di parin ako makatulog.. msakit na ang katawan ko.. bibigay na ata mga hita ko dahil abusado na ito sa paglalakad.. lumalalim ang mga eyebags ko.. ang itim, parang.. kasing itim ng kalungkutang bumabalot sa pagkatao ko..

ewan ko ba..

sa twing hihilata ako sa kama.. naiisip ko sya.. leche naman kasi e.. kahit antagal ng putol ang koneksyon ko sa knya.. kahit gano kahirap ko subukan na lumayo sa kanya, eto at eto pa din.. binabagabag nya utak ko.. ayaw ako patahimikin.. aus lng sana kung kahit magkita kami sa daan e malamig kami sa isat isa.. pero ang di ako iwanan sa isip ko..nakakabaliw..

ewan ko ba..

kahit gano ako kagaling umarte na msaya ako at alang paki elam sa mundo.. kahit gano ako kagaling n sabihin na "asus?! asa naman ung babaeng un, ano sya reyna?" ng buong sigla at pag ka baliw, sa luob ko, aun, unti unti nitong inaagnas ang natitrang tino na nakabitin sa pagkatao ko.. maaring.. maaring idinikit ko na sa utak ko na ok na ko.. di ko na sya kailangan.. pero..

ewan ko ba..

hindi naman sya pang model ng isang magazine, at kung susukatin ko ang kanyang itsura, msasabi ko na hindi ko sya type.. pero, putsa naman. bakit sya pa napili ng damdamin ko? hindi ko makuhanan ng rason. puneta na yan. ang alam ko, pinipili ng mga lalakeng hayup ang knilang mapapangasawa base sa physical n kkahayan nito na mapalaganap ang kanilang lahi.. pero..

ewan ko ba..

sa twing makikita ko sya, kalungkutan nlang ang unti unting humahampas sa puso ko.. nag susumigaw na lumabas.. pero hindi dapat.. kailangang nakangiti.. kailangan msaya.. kailangang lagi hindi affected..kailangan un eh.. para msabi ko sa sarili ko na nakaraos na ko sa kanya..

ewan ko ba..

isang tao lang un.. pero lintik naman ang pagbabago na ginawa sa katauhan ko.. nagugulat nalang ako na bigla nalang ako ngumingiti sa mga tao.. nung wala pa sya, napaka saklap ng tingin ko sa mundo..pero nung dinaanan nya ang daan na tinatahak ko.. nagbago ang lahat.. nagising ang mga emosyong matagal ko ng pinatay..

ewan ko ba..

kakatuwang isipin.. na kung sino pa ang tao na nakapag paligaya sayo.. kung sino pa yung tao na binuhasan mo ng pag ibig mo.. kung sino pa yung tao na sinuko mo lahat at sa kanya ka umikot.. kung sino pa ung taong ni hindi mo magawang saktan kahit ano ang ginawa nyang pagpunit sa kaluluwa mo.. e sya rin pala ang gagawa ng kabaligtaran sau.. lahat yan.. gagawin nya sayo.. baligtad nga lang..

ewan ko ba..

saan ba ko nagkulang? un ang tanong na hinaharap ko araw araw.. mas gugustuhin ko pang tanungin ako ng aking guro na mga tanong tungkol sa Biology o Chemistry na tipong pwede ng pang board exam.. pero hindi.. HINDI.. hindi ko masagot ang tanung na ito..

ewan ko ba..

kung bakit nya ko pinagpalit?

posted by Silent_Waters @ http://www.libs.blogspot.com/

Ramblings Revived

2004-09-26T11:26:00.000+08:00

Ramblings Revived

last night...inuman.
san mig light lng nmn un...
wla akong "tama"...inihi ko yata lhat..
bawal din mlasing s min eh...
"kng nlsing kau, upakan ko kaung lahat!!!"
sbi ng kuya ng grupo...
eh, sympre...natakot ang lahat.
nainis din ako sa mga iba..
inubos nla ung chchiria,
di nmn sila niinum..
badtrip...
pait ung beer...

and we had to watch
pirates of the carribean...
oh i had a kick out of it..
despite it was my nth time watching it...
idol k nga si capt. jack sparrow..
the savvy smooth talker..
gotta love his moves..

left kuya jayson's aprtmnt at 1.30am..
hintid ako n kuya rem, astig tlga ang vios..
arrived home, drop dead on the bed,
fumbled a txt or two..
ntulog...

woke up...6.30am.
called a friend...
dressed up, an early shower it was..
ate breakfast..
went to church...
met up with the friend i called..
went here..
read a few entries..
edit a few..
made this one..

btw, mom called last night.
dming prob sa bhay..
niinis n ako sa bro ko..
dad had to vent out shit so we ate dinner out
(that was before the inuman..)
we ate...
talked somemore..
my issues...lil bro's issues...
mom's issues, dad's issues...
then we laughed..
i good laugh it was..
LOA nlng ako nxt sem..
...silence...
a shudder went up my spine,
jokes are always half meant..

next 24 hours? ewan ko..
i can either choose to do my reqts and study
or sleep....
im tired...i think i could use rest.

oh, going back in time.
yesterday afternoon..
had bible study with kuya val then
basketball...
2 on 2, 2 games straight..
was real fun..
it felt that im bringing up my gaming to a new level.

17 days till oct13...
the countdown begins..
on oct13,
its either history repeats itself
or...
...
...
i hate this..
tma na ang ramblings..
log out n ako.

2004-09-25T10:45:00.000+08:00

dear blog,

when did i ever write like this? when did i ever feel that as if you are the only person who seemed to understand me in a situation that im going thru lately...
it was a long time wasnt it? when i addressed you not just as a online journal but as a close friend and confider. it saddens me tho....coz maybe, after all this is over...i may not write here anymore.

nhhrpn ako! i know im not having any asthma attacks but my lungs wont work..

yesterday, i had nothing much to do. so i decided to swim....2 hours straight...21 sec half a lap, i swam like crazy maybe just hoping to alleviate the heavy emotions im feeling. i suffered from 3 cramps at various parts of my body and hyperventilation but no one in the pool had to knew even the life guard. i was proud, i managed...and continued, i wasnt trying to punish myself, it felt really good actually...placing my body to its limits...

but i was much stronger the day before....hyperventilation at the pool was something new...
my lungs burned like hell, and my right ribs felt bruised....
the only person who saw me was santi, "hoy, ok k lng?"...i swan away as quick as possible...after several laps, s: "my God jay, stop it..."

but i didnt stop...after swimming, another two hours of training with CQ in the dojo. that was the usual warm up work out, 50 sets of battering the wall, 50 sets of kambio, push-ups, 21 sets of all 12 methods, we relearned the 7 Combinations and another 50 sets of 13se on the wall...
after that two hours....i couldn't open up my bruised hands...i couldnt let go of my stick at all...
but when i did, my hand would just shake uncontrollably.

i am too proud to show im hurt. i always was....
i try not to notice how heavy the air around me feels or how i seem to sulk while walking around campus..
i try to act as if everything is normal...not because i just feel like denying what im feeling but because i just want to convince myself that everything is going to be ok...
that everything after sometime will be back to the way things were...
but no...i fear that i might lose her.

space is good. i mean atleast i get to really understand my feelings for her and she for me. but i know love k n yun..
alam ko, the reasons of all my stupid actions yesterday was bcoz i dont want to feel as if im losing her.
i mean y am i? i shouldnt be...
everything is going to be ok, jay..
u should know that..
u'r supposedly smart...intelligent...

pero y am i feeling this way?

i wish we didnt have to go on with this. i hate this, buti lng ngd2 ako sa may likod ng shop..
where no one can see me..where no one can see me suffer with such pains...
i wish she wouldnt have to be this harsh...it was sudden really..
though it had a bit of a lapse for it to sink in, but right now im feeling it's full force...
miss ko n cya...badly. 2 days lng...pero i am missing her na.

argh...it going to be ok jay..
u know it..
by next sem, ul be happy..the both of u will...

For the reCORD

2004-09-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

For the record...

tonight, i realized that for once i truly love a person....
even it had me to allow that person to...maybe...fade away..
today, for once, my first in life, i declare freely to everyone that i love someone
knowing that i need not be ashamed of what i feel
knowing that i need not think twice
knowing that i need not deny
tonight, i had a glimpse of love...
not just infatuation but
the emotion which forever remains unconditional...
a glimpse that i can truly love a person
w/o thinking solely of what i may gain or feel
but rather understanding another person and how she feels...
and despite it has invoked me to deny that i feel at great lost,
and that my heart feels heavy
that my eyes betray me...im crying god damn it....
argh...
that my soul seeks comfort

i know deep within that is what love's all about.
i love you... i whisper...
i love you...i sigh...
i love you...uttering no sound...
my heart bears no wound..
no tears that dry upon sadden cheecks..
a soul...comforted...
coz thats love...

Class Daydreams

2004-09-17T10:23:00.000+08:00

Nightingale

sweet nightingale,
sing your song to me,
take me away
from life's miseries.
sing to me a far away land
with dreams and fairy tales,
of nymphs that bathe in crystal waters,
of speaking creatures and talking trees.
with your angelic voice
take me to the clouds,
fly me to freedom,
high above where life's just a dream...

-classroom daydreams-

MIND SPEAKS

2004-09-17T10:20:00.000+08:00

MIND SPEAKS

within me lies the tempest
with his raging winds that howl chaos

within me a soft voice whispers
with echos that utter different meanings

within me a battle
with cries upon mingled blood of foes

withon me stands an abyss of questions
with a soul that seeks no answers

-confusion-

2004-09-16T15:27:00.000+08:00

who told you to love
when there was no love
who told you not to love
when you could love
a midnight whisper
dancing above among heavenly bodies
a dream just beyond reach
plays in minds who often seek...
lost soul, broken heart,
pray you learn...
fall not to love,
choose to love...

Weheehee...

2004-09-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

Blogged Atlast...

the computer at home is fixed...here are several offline blogs i made...
a sec while i upload it...hehehe.

hmmm...alis muna ako, balik ako in awhile...
i still have several posts to add on..
hehehe...

Bad Trip

2004-09-08T10:55:00.000+08:00

Bad Trip

Waah…huhuhu. My score in Vet Micro 124: 62/100…and that percentage is based on the highest score of 80….w/c means the highest got a perfect 100/100….
So, if you are going to get .62 of 80…pasang awa lng ako!!!! Damn…lowest performance ko this semester. Shet…badtrip tlga ako. Saying yun 92 pts ko sa first exam….

Haay…well, I did deserve it…I didn’t study eh.

Basta…start na ako mgaral ng todo….wow jay, perfect timing…4 weeks to finals week. Hehehe….

Mediocre performance tlga ako dis sem….THIS GOTTA CHANGE.

Shame

2004-09-08T08:36:00.000+08:00

Shame

have class in 15 minutes...and i cant upload the neat post i made last night (w/c was made offline at home). sigh..

was evesdropping on my bro's email...hahaha...he's frequently exchanging mails with his kababata who still is in thailand. when i was looking through her letter...hmmm...missing life back there. its really different...hahaha...

oh well...kids. (yah right...)
ok...really need to run...

apologies for not posting yesterday's happenings....it was worth posting but my computer is acting silly...

Bad Colds…

2004-09-07T21:08:00.000+08:00

Bad Colds…

Here I am, blogging offline. I think is the first offline blog ill actually post on RidRams. But this post is supposedly for Tuesday (hopefully by the time I actually post this it would still have been yesterday). Well, its evening already and, as you all might presume, im home, listening to the repeatedly driven music in my playlist on WMP. Actually, I was online several times today but “circumstances” didn’t give me the chance to blog…
Such circumstances are actually the very things I wanted to blog about…those circumstances w/c kinda had my day starting out BAD…real bad…

I woke up 4am, sadly, at the wrong side of the bed. It wasn’t the time really, it was just I should have gotten up much earlier to make the outline of my report in bio 140 coz the previous night I planned on sleeping right after dinner and eventually waking up refreshed at about 1am. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as according to plan.

Well, in the middle of my peaceful slumber, I was awakened at the vigorous vibrating of my phone (trust me, its capability is outrageous…IT WOKE ME UP!)…well, a friend just sent me a text message. It was 11:30 of that previous evening. It was one of those kinda messages w/c will have you guilty for not replying…and that effect went on till 12:30am until I refused to open my eyes and read anymore msgs. Well, what would you expect…ignoring my alarm, I slept on till 4am.

So it was hectic this morning….and what had to top it off was out of nowhere I began sneezing. Man, it was terrible…my nose was literally flooding with occasional explosions w/c had my nose red as a rose. Haay…imagine the irritability I felt when I was trying my best to concentrate inorder to come up with a decent outline. I could hardly type a single sentence straight considering my two hads are busy with all the “dripping” and “Ha-CHOOO-ing”…that’s equal to 3 saturated handkerchiefs.

Well, eventually I was able to finish everything, had breakfast and shower…but my Colds was still there. The printer here, at home, is broke so most of my reports I print elsewhere. Well, when I was just about to leave to do my usual routine of going to the internet café early morn…on the act of saving my report on a diskette…I dunno…it couldn’t save…this darn msg kept popping up that my diskette wasn’t formatted…w/c was the very same diskette I used to copy my speech last Monday. I was irritable especially with the bad colds. It took me several tries with all the other old diskettes I have until I finally convinced myself to buy a new diskette. I grew even more irritable and impatient…It wouldn’t have been no big deal, considering that I can easily bike to the bookstore, if it wasn’t scorching HOT…and there still was that irritating Colds…imagine this…biking, sneezing, sweating…that’s the worse combination I can think of…

I thought hell would have been over arriving home with a new diskette…after drinking lots and lots of water and 5 minutes of doing nothing but sit in front of the electric fan, to my horror..the new diskette wasn’t even working. Man…I cursed a lot….i guess that moment would be one of the last experiences I want to relive…
Convincing myself that nothing else can be done except for writing the report down and typing it again in an internet café, I endured another round of trying to concentrate inorder for me to quickly write down the outline on a sheet of yellow pad paper. The irritation, pain and torture is indescribable…I guess it was enough to say, It was just Hell.

Had enough? My end didn’t just end there…it was still 9 in the morning and I still haven’t practiced my speech in whole w/c was to be presented at around 1pm. Well, it was kinda early so I thought, knowing I can still type at a relatively fast pace, I still might have enough time to practice and join in my 11:30am class once im able to print my bio140 report. But guess what…just when I was halfway through my outline, sitting calmly at my favorite internet café…the POWER went out…!!! The whole economic block of UPLB experienced power failure…

Grabeh ung araw na to…

I was so pissed…well, I was supposed to meet innah, a friend, at the physical science building at around 10am coz she wanted to give me a late bday present…so, with all the burning rage…I decided to burn out all my anger as I wait for the clock to strike 10am. Eventually…my rage ran out of gas and so did my nose began to cool off a bit…it was only when I felt better did I notice that the campus wasn’t experiencing the same power failure at Grove “the economic downtown of LB”…and I realized that there university coop has a small internet shop w/c ran the same electrical line as most of the campus buildings…and then sprang Hope.

So, feeling much better, I got to meet innah…got my gift, w/c was a red “bench” cap (very nice…wasn’t able to wear it tho coz I was wearing gel), and hanged out a bit with her trying to rub off the remaining bad feelings.

An hour later I decided to head off to the coop center….
“sorry sir, walang available computers”…haay, now the heat was getting at my nerves…and so did some occasional “sniffs” w/c had me worring that another nose trauma was on its way. Thank God, nothing happened…and also eventually I was able to sit in one of the PC units.

I was finally able to produce the furnished outline of my report at a quarter to one in the afternoon that gave me about 15 minutes to mentally prepare for my speech comm. Class wherein I had to presented my speech. Yes, I wasn’t able to fully prepare/practice and I was absent in my math 1 class - goodness knows how much absences I had in that class.

But the speech went fine…I knew my speech was furnished so I really just had to concentrate with the presentation. You know, eye contact, proper breathing…pretending that the speech was created spontaneously…well, I was holding a copy and was occasionally glancing at it….but I made sure it didn’t seem as if I was just reading or didn’t just memorize it as well. With a bit of slips here and there and a couple of Filipino expressions I just couldn’t do away with…the speech did come to an end w/o any major disaster. Hahaha…I also just wanted to add that my articulation and a bit of the slang (relative to the Filipino pronunciation) accent was able to captivate the audience wherein I actually was able to fool myself that they were actually interested in my speech. Maybe they were…but no one can tell. Atleast I was able to eye contact several people who “seemed” as if they were absorbing every word I spat out. oh well, nevertheless, joey told me that the only major problem was my breathing…I was too stressed out during the speech. Joey refused to tell me my grade…I just have to wait for next meeting.

The colds was finally gone…and I was feeling much better since I was able to finish my speech.

The Bio140 report, w/c was the reason for my sufferings, went swell just as well. (yuk…that had to rhyme)…but to sum it all up in a word: it was comical. Well, the outline wasn’t that great and I wasn’t able to finalize a continuous and logical flow of my report (the phylogeny of cyanobacteria) so during the whole report I was trying hard to make my report come out naturally and comprehensive. And as all reports end in bio140, the ruthless questions thrown at the reporters by the professor was comical as well. Hmmm…well, she (the professor) did say “are you playing around with me?” hahaha…I guess I was too tired and carefree to answer directly and in a serious manner.
Ex. (I was reporting on RUBISCO) Prof: so class….where have you heard about RUBISCOs?.. J (piping in…in a rather choral manner ): sa crackers (rebisco) maam… *class laughs* ; Prof: jasper, where are cyanobacterias more abundant…marine or freshwater? J (with much confidence…actually I don’t know the answer): sa marine po (thinks again)…ksi mas maraming sea compared sa freshwater… *class laughs again*

Hey, I couldn’t help to act a bit stupid. Besides, the inquirers was always thought of as one of the least-liked part of the report, especially in cases where the reporters do not know the answers. Hello? Out of this world din ung mga tanong ni maam. So my acting stupid was more of an ice breaker…hehehe. Nevertheless, I was able to smartly answer several hard questions as well (these questions were ones I knew).

And do you know what maam had to say about the report…
“this is why I like you guys to report ksi we all get to learn something new…(so I was already assuming she was pertaining to the knowledge that we were able to impart to the class)…oh dba? Na-discover natin na meron pla mgling mg salita sa grupo nila…*points to one of my groupmates (actually, I felt she was over doing her articulation) then looks at me*…and si….anu nga name mo?…si jasper may magandang speaking voice…”

wow…and just when I thought she liked the report.

Atlast, over ung day. I was able to meet joey again and we went to an internet café where he had to meet a student and I did my regular surfing. To my delight, joey treated me to brewed coffee and oreo, and just when I realized I haven’t paid for my computer rentals I knew he paid for it as well.

The student joey met was one of the cast in tilamsik ng dugo. Zsa zsa, who I found myself walking with towards the baker hall…joey went home and left the two of us…I felt kinda embarrassed, coz when joey was still there I was kinda suplado towards her, and was wanting to walk on ahead. However, joey before he departed did say…”entertain mo si zsa zsa ha?”…and I just had to put an immediate “front act”…well after 40-50 meters, I was able to eventually drop the act and began to be the natural friendly me.

Finally at baker, I was trying to confirm if training was cancelled, some of the varsity members I met during the day told me so. though there was a bit of miscommunication and I had to bike home to change to my training clothes, I still was able to bond with several of the varsity members w/c was worth while.

At around 6.30pm, I received final word from coach himself that training will be postponed to Thursday. So, I got up…decided to send a message to ider saying to meet me at the humanities steps. She has become one of the persons I’ve become fond of and enjoy relating my day…(hehehe, I wonder if she does realize?) but well, sadly, she was kinda busy and did apologize (well she really need not but it was nice of her to)….

And that’s how I ended up here…or rather how this began. 2 hours lapsed and dad’s done with his dinner…

I guess I should start on my meal before it goes cold…

Till next post.

Nothing Much to Say...

2004-09-06T08:23:00.000+08:00

Nothing Much to Say...

sad...:((

nevertheless here is the speech iv prepared for joey's class...
its 13 minutes long...haay...joey is going to kill me. i cant think of anything shorter...hahaha.

Good afternoon.

Today, I’m going to speak to you about lying as a tool for survival. Well, the lying im referring to is not the lying in “lying down at bed” but rather the lying, w/c according to the Webster, refers to an untrue statement made with an intent to deceive.

But before I move on, I guess most of you would wonder why in the world would lying become a tool for survival considering that lying has several bad connotations. Well, for others, they may already have a clue. The issue of lying having bad connotations or rather lying being morally wrong is an area of intense debate especially in lies such as a compassionate lie or, the ones that we are more familiar with, white lies. For some, such as the Philosopher Kant, Lying has always been morally wrong since lying tends to corrupt the ability of one to make free rational decisions and it robs others of their freedom as well. For others, such as those who consider themselves as utilitarians, believe that the morality of their actions, including lying, can only be good depending on the resulting consequence of the action. Hence in these cases, it may even be immoral not to lie if lying is necessary to maximize benefit or minimize harm.

Well, despite many views on lying, one cannot deny that he has never lied and that lying is avoidable in life. In fact the more one denies he is free of lies the more is he in it. According to a psychologist, human beings lie to about 200 times a day, w/c is roughly one untruth every 5 mins. Thus lying would be hypothesized to play an important role in the survival of the human species and may be significant in life.

To understand the importance of lying, most scientists and actually biologist, as myself, would look at the evolutional development of lying. Many writers and psychologists suggest that lying could be universally associated with traits found in all animals. These traits, such as stealth, mimicry, and deception are important factors that are helpful, or even dispensable for survival and success in many animal species.

According to journals, in the evolutionary development of lying there are four levels of deception. Level one deals with the species permanent appearance, such as insects imitating the appearance of a leaf in order to deceive a predator. Level Two involves coordinated action as in birds that mimic birdcalls of other species in order to attract attention or even to lure prey. Level three already involves primitive intelligence and learning. Like a dog that acts that he is injured, knowing from experience, that the real injury would bring him special attention and care. The highest level would involve planning. A chimpanzee who misleads about the location of food by looking at the wrong way or purposely walking past it. Conscious planning of deception requires “theory of mind”, an understanding of what goes on in another individual’s mind.

These animalistic instincts to deceive to either protect itself from predators or as a trick of attack are not that different from the way humans lie. The only differences is the difficulty of deception, w/c increases in complexity at each level and as organisms become refined in their communication and intelligence. Humans, having the highest form of intelligence, have a instinctual nature of lying – brought to a new level due to the fact that survival is no longer a simple response to his position in the food chain; and so, humans have evolved to a point resulting further into the development and evolution of language for deception and that we may all be natural born liars.

According to a book I’ve read entitled “Antecedents to Lying and teaching the truth”, lying can be observed in young children with different reasons at different ages. At the age of two, the children are not yet able to distinguish between fantasy and reality and would usually lie about their fantasy world. At the age of 6, children begin to develop a more consistent understanding between fantasy and reality and are quieter about it. However, they would also be conscious of their misdeeds, its effects on their parents and the cost and punishments that follow. This would be their first time to construct a lie in order to avoid punishment. Children will also begin telling fibs or exaggerate details in order to gain attention. When the child is 8 years old, the most common reason for lying would be to avoid disappointing their parents, punishment, and doing unpleasant chores. They also learn about polite social lying.

It is only at adolescence when one knows how greatly lying could affect a person’s life, its benefits or possible consequences. Lies are often forced to protect their privacy, to establish independence and to avoid embarrassment. As we grow older, life gets complicated and one will notice that lies can provide short-term help.

There are four types of Lying. These types are (1) lying to protect other’s feelings, (2) Lying to protect one self, (3) Self Deception, and (4) Lies to hurt others.

The first type of lying is the least harmful of all lies. White lies and altruistic lies are clear examples. Psychologists and sociologists believe that these lies are necessary for society to function. Etiquette, politeness, and flattery are now known to be foundations of social interactions and are more often sought after than expressing brutal honest truth, which would hurt or insult a lot.

The second type can take many forms especially since many social problems, such as racism and discrimination, have risen. Lying in order to boost low self esteem and denying one’s uniqueness in order to conform to what other people think is normal and acceptable are just one of the many examples. Studies also show that many people would lie when trying to appear likable and competent as in the case of impressing a crush.

The third kind of lie deals with the unconscious motivations and intentions brought about men’s human nature. Self deception is done in order to satisfy men’s natural greed, self interest, prejudice, desire, insecurity, and other psychological factors affecting, in a negative way, the person’s behavior by justifying that what they did is right.

Lastly, the fourth type of lie is only done by vicious characters; it is done not for the means of survival but rather for uncertain reasons of psychotic behavior and thinking.
Lying can also be constructed for material gain. Someone once told me that “Truth telling can reap most personal benefits but by lying one could gain a little bit more” Many people now a days use lies as means to get what they want – money, clothing, food, etc. Lying can also produce a positive feeling and may be viewed as an accomplishment, w/c feels good, like when kidding a gullible friend. Today, some professions require the ability of becoming a good liar. Politics involve so much lying and false promises in order to gain desired affiliations, it has become a game of deceit and dishonesty even during the politician’s term in office. Lawyers lie too; they twist facts, hide facts, or give the jury just the right amount of info to convert a guilty felon into an innocent baby.
And so the list of lies and its uses continues, as much as my time has already reached its limit. Whether lying is accepted as something wrong or right, lying cannot be denied that it has of some worth or value in the human species. Life is a competition, created by pressures and stresses of human society, and lying has evolved into one of the most powerful and advance function of our cerebral capacity; a power that help us succeed in love, war and commerce. So lying is considered a skill, a tool of the masses to over come injustice, and above all an ability human beings have developed to survive in this world.

*bow*

haay...stupidity

2004-09-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

haay...stupidity

been pretty much stupid today.

1.) had a quiz in mcb101 lecture...and would you believe that a mistook maam saying autotrophs for auxotrophs...argh...nkkinis. oh well, thats one quiz equalvalent to zero.

2.) forgot that i had a lunch date with someone else...that person will kill me! sorry po...

3.) slept when i was supposedly studying for my mcb101 exam...

4.) and in that exam, well...pretty much of stupidity got the best out of me...

bsta!!!!

in short...today...friday...stupid! hahaha...

sna mmya sa RIVERMAYA concert...i wouldnt do anything i wouldnt want doing...gets mo?

cya...kinukulit ako ni MIA AZAÑES to leave the place...

bye///

Taliamsik ng Dugo

2004-09-02T11:05:00.000+08:00
Taliamsik ng Dugo

kudos to kuya joey for a job well done. well, though he was kinda upset with the "lighting"...the play was great considering that "the audience" was much busy with analyzing the story, interpretative dances, music and song to notice lighting effects.

i believe the story was great...it sure brought a certain "feel" (sympathy maybe but with a touch of realization and guilt). my dad was touched...even if he (and i, myself) is a mindana"wan". "oo...totoo, ung lahat nasa storya...families breakup, people die...etc etc...esp when considering the different perspectives of the people, i feel that i have created the conflicts mindanao to revolve around me and my interests...."

and sir joey, trust me, seeing a play w/c...well..features...almost every type of artistic genra...the show was a blast.

only you and your crew knew what's going on backstage...but at the seats of the audience....the show did serve it's "purpose"...

congrat ulit sir joey...hope the gala show tonight would be much splended...

First Kisses

2004-09-01T08:12:00.000+08:00
First Kisses

hahahah....ok, dont get so shocked over the "changes" in the blog. this still is jay's RIDICULOUS RAMBLINGS. hahaha...and trust me its not that im showing any feminine side...i dont believe i have enough to have it "note-worthy".hehehe....

but oh well...as i was telling my friends who always been the kind of friends to "react"...
its just the picture....hahaha. "ITS TOO CUTE TOO IGNORE"....hmmm, maybe if i had the time ill change the color scheme to something more "boyish? hahaha....and i thought pink was musculine!!!

well...about the pic...hahaha, cant help but remember my first kiss...w/c...really was a long time ago. well, i was about 8...and i had this "close friend"...her name was Smithi, a beautiful nepalese. hehehe...well, you know kids...always wanting to explore things on their own...w/o their parents....hahahaha.

God, i could remember it as clear as day...

j: smithi, i wonder how those actors on tv feel when they kiss?
s: oh? hmmm...yah....my (girl) friends would say it brings butterflies to your stomach?
j: yuck...don't they taste bad?
s: funny j...
j: hmmm...you wanna try kissing?
s: do you?
j: lets see if butterflies taste good....
s: funny j...

(trust me this has no malicious content...so k.myk, if you get horny you can skip this post already...hehehe)

so we did...hahaha...at the back of my house, literally "hiding"...with closed eyes, hands behind our backs and pouted lips....hahaha...haay...just like the picture. after that, smithi ran to her house...and i felt like...well..."so that was butterflies, eh?...YUK..." *wipes lips...*

well, im too old to think kisses are like that. hehehe....hey, im not that innocent kid anymore. huhuhu...i kinda miss being young! wish i still was...

August Wrap-up Already?

2004-08-31T09:33:00.000+08:00
August Wrapup - Already?

wow...thats fast.

here goes my monthly summary.

a total of 13 posts...hmm...not bad. considering, as i said last month, that my blog survived this long. but i havn't been very active in posting posts...and actually describing my day to detail. bah...i told you..im no good.

August has been great. it is after all the month when i turned 18. hahaha.
Achievements of the month:

*i survived midterms.
*i was a bit deppressed once...for a week i guess...just missed davao and the people there.
*that follwed by being a jerk for a while
*Dad's BACK!!!!
*and my BDAY dilemma.

hahaha..thats pretty much everthing on my posts.
though, to be quite honest, i kinda left out alot of "details" and "happenings" that've been going on (esp) lately. i think my blog has gotten too "public" (hehehe)...to express certain "feelings"..nevertheless, if you MUST know...i'm happy.

i still havn't thought of my next month's ed of RID RAMS...
but most probably it will be reflecting my "emotional-pathethic-romantic side "...hahaha.
i already have a blogskin prospect...but it'll need major re-touching...considering my links and tag-board. oh well...
maybe tomorrow....

Munched on Corn

2004-08-30T20:15:00.000+08:00
All Munched on Corn...

talk about being corny. well, i never was the joker...or rather occasionally ive desparately been trying...real hard. i never understood really...i mean...i could remember back when i was still in highschool, i always brought out those good laughs. guess im just been losing touch,eh? haay...im no longer that silly scrawny boy with the ridiculous accent.

oh well, subject came up coz i couldnt resist eating good old corn. just around the corner, this old lady was selling sweet-corn at 10 pesos each for a living. Not bad a price considering the size of the corn she sells...usually, in davao i could eat 3 "normal sized" corn...this kind old lady's corn is big enough for my fill...

today was the usual monday. though i could say im a bit "hanged-over" by the laxed sked last week. this week, i have several reqts to pass, most of w/c were due today in most of w/c were crammed in today's sked. luckily, i was able to pass all of today's reqts on time. hahaha...
my cramming skills do not cease to amaze me but dont bring out the best in me either.
sigh...among the wonderful reqts is my speech for sir joey, who i do not want to fail...i will make a good one.promise! aside form the reqts, i have two exams to top it off...one on wed - vmcb124 w/c i hvnt studied yet...and another on fri, w/c i too havnt studied for...hahaha.

tada...the bad me?...nah, just lazy, ill pick up speed, later this eve.

i decide to sport on the atlantis cologne of bench for the next couple of days. boy, did it bring back memories...atlantis was one of the most aromatic, darn-turns-me-on-cologne when i was back in highschool. well..memories such as highschool crushes (coz its uni-sex)...attacting people..so on so forth...

haay...now you could just leave me alone - lost in my own world of memories...

..ok, wake up jay..

i should be going..

GUTOM na AKO!!! it was an hour ago since i was muching on corn

btw, if you must know, i type at a pace w/c allows me to jump from one site to another...so, um...hahaha..dont underestimate my typing (or maybe thinking) capacity.

ok...duh jay (ang assuming ko tuloy)...sorry folks, its just the now empty stomach talking.

8-teen and two days

2004-08-27T10:33:00.000+08:00
Cont...

hahaha...sorry i couldnt finish this sooner. oh well, better late then never...atleast im gonna finish this.

2:30 pm that day:

i find it unfair knowing that bday celebrants have to treat people! hahaha...well, i was more familiar with people treating me on my bdays when i was younger. huhuhu...imagine, i treated my whole swimming class to drinks...grabeh, it was more of a blackmail...class was dismissed early and just when i was walking out of the building, passing by the small sari sari store, a choir (coming out of no where...hehehhe) sang "happy bday". hahaha...of course, the chorus was ever so clear..."liBRE!!, LIBRE!!" and like i promised....they asked for it...i gave it. hahaha..

3:30 pm :

the next class wasnt that impt...hehehe...ksi noone greeted me. "sadness!" as ace would say. oh bummer...what happened next?

5:30 pm :

ill just jump to eating at BM w ider ....and her friend - another sis actually that she had to tag along...hahaha...joke. kidding there...but oh well...since ive been treating everyone i met, y not add another one to the list? so what the hell, we ate our fill...

7:00 pm

the creation science symposium...i was there. and found it quite interesting. its hard explaining all the facts and theories behind creationism..
but trust me...as a biologist student...i was convinced!

9:00 pm pnwards...

well, the symposium was sponsored by the Navigators along with the Kapatiran -umbrella org of most of the rel orgs in campus. so, naturally plenty of Nav pipzs were there. hahaha...guess, one of the nicest surprises i had for this day was how we came up with a small celebration of pulutan, beer and a cake in 30 secs. so thats all it took, when people started marching towards the org haus to celebrate my bday.

hehehe...i guess thats about it.

eighteen and a day

2004-08-26T09:58:00.000+08:00
8-teen and A daY

that is, how old i am. haay...wow, i could just eat my crap-words i said the other day. well, i guess the bliss i experienced just yesterday, MY BIRTHDAY, was inevitable. despite me having that terrible mindset, as describe in my last last post, everything just had to turn out fine...placing one wide grin on my face - w/c i believe is still plastered from ear to ear on my face right now. hahaha

how it all started....

well, as you all know, i was really trying to make the day just pass-sleeping early the eve before, hoping to wake up late the next morning and rush through my sked as so no one will notice. I did turn down all of dad's proposals of dinner and such...simply put: that "eve", i ate my dinner, conversed with my dad about other matters, brushed my teeth and jumped into bed.

but that day refused to just end there. despite the fact i was trying to ignore the first few "vibes" of my phone, i was driven to waking up when i notice that someone was actually calling. it was raych, one of the "SIREN"-barkada ko back in highskul who wasnt one of the people who'd i tlk/txt to everyday (today)...well, i was surprised that she was calling. naturally-being sleepy-eyed and all, i cancelled the call thinking that it could have been just to catch my attention in order to read her msg (mis-col). upon looking in my inbox...well, i discovered she was actually calling. hehehe...the next thing i know...the phone goes "vibe"ing again and i answered...

well, 45 minutes later...i had recieved 7 local calls and 2 intl ones (karen and josh...mishu guys!)and quite a number of text messages. hahaha...it really has nothing to do with the numbers, its just that knowing that there are people that...hahaha...remembered its my birthday, taking all effort to greet me, and, well, catching up with them (through the calls or txt)...certainly has made my day (come to think of it, it only has been the begining).

so, quite in that, blissful mood....i fell asleep.

i woke up around 8am, a bit around the time where i should be rushing for my first class....well, the sleep and rushing had soaked all that blissful mood earlier that morning (but my dad sezs i was undeniably smiling). reaching biosci...hmm...i cnt quite remember well, but the first person, i believe, to personally greet me was mylene, my sis and co-Agent in the NAVS fam...well, she was the only one during that hour- apparantly my first class knew nothing of the day.
second class, w/c did not follow suit - thnk goodness, was my mcb101 lab, w/c i already find enjoyable (am not sure if i made a post about this subject....if i could remember it right...i hated the subj...hehehe..)...well, jay allen was there...and s/he had to sing for me...(again! note: s/he sang for me last yr in front of a 120 stud class...hahaha...)...but this time, it was just in the laboratory class composed of just about 14 students.

well...suddenly, while doing all the lab-work for that session, i did feel a sudden urge to enjoy the day -not bcoz of jay allen- but bcoz...hey comeon...it is my BIRTHDAY.

anyway, dad gave me one thou to spend on people who'd wanted to make libre. and so i did avail of the money ASAP w/c was around my lunch break. then i saw i[D]r...hahaha....
well, she's the sis w/c i promised the "date"...she was questioning the term..."cra k tlga jay"...
so we had lunch sa mcdo...haha...w/c i did not pay for...hehehe...well, we did plan that i treat her after her stat101 class...w/c was still around 5pm. i sorta wanted to stick to the sked...hehehe....
but sadly...hehehe...i missed my stat1 class...lol. ewan ko. i did say that i should start attnding my classes...but...haay...hehehe...tntmad ako?
oh well, after mcdo, i wlkd ider to a convention she had to attend...she did a bit of documentation of the activity and alot of "that" on her history prof (duh...?)...ider is so obvious that she has a crush on her prof. but anyway, we just hanged out...

oh well...i hate to skip all the details of my bday...each sec was worth remembering and deserves space in my blog...but...hehehe....i have a class 30 mins and counting (not to mention that my head is starting to spin already).

i think ill just continue this...

it had been a long day...

DELIQUENTE!

2004-08-24T20:38:00.000+08:00
DELIQUENTE!

hahaha...my my.

was absent in my math 1 calss and spcm class for no particular reason. tamad...hehehe. bad me.

spent the afternoon with my sis sa navs. had a great time even if we were just watching some freaky dark filipino movie while standing...
2moro, i promised a date with that particular person. hey...she asked for it. lol...

i didnt join the training nnmn..
ewan ko tntmd ako tlga...
oh well...it'll pass...i mean it HAS to pass.

btw...did i mention iv was given the job to promote joey's play? oh well...yes, tomorrow,you would see me wearing a small small white shirt that has "tilamsik ng dugo" on it...along with its play dates.

joey, the director and playwright (if that is how you spell it), has recommended it...hahaha. but do watch...thats from me, his lil bro. :))

oh cya...i need to get home na. still have to eat dinner and discuss particulars and debate on the issue whether or not would i prepare a dinner celebration for my bday

....NOT! hehehe...

till next post...

big day tomorow

2004-08-24T10:25:00.000+08:00
big day tomorrow...

or is it?

well, my head is already aching and its been awhile since ive been writting in my blog so...
oh well..

tomorrow is my birthday...and my my...
im turning 18. silly, but i sorta feel that 2moro is not something im looking forward to (as compared to my previous bdays)..
guess its just that plenty of things would be missing...
haay...now i cnt stop but entertain this heavy sensation midway my chest. im just so tired and...well...shit. i think im losing grip again. huhuhu..
missing alot of people and the way things were is pretty much depressing.

atleast the university has decided to give me the perfect gift...a week w/o exams. haay...

dear dear...i cnt really say what plans i have for tomorrow coz...i didnt make any. my dad was proposing to hold a simple party for the navs, but i turned it down coz i wasnt in the mood. i could go drinking with the fellow brods and my discipler (maybe bring my dad along)...but...its in the middle of the week and skuls practically in the way. i always act happy...but deep within im crushed by...just being me. haay..im already confusing myself with all this words. my eyes are heavy a bit all the way down and iv already given the control over my fingers and my thoughts to fatigue...
what?...rable ramble rable...

i think im done till here..
ill write tomorrow if something surprises me...

CRAMPS!

2004-08-18T17:37:00.000+08:00
CRAMPS!!!

huhuhu...i was practically limping for the past 2 hours. oh well, got it in swimming class.

dang...i still cant find that website for the math1 exam tomorrow. argh...

hmmm...this is rather small. the post that is...hehehe.

on the run...

see yah!

btw...p.s. i sadly got 88/100 in stat midterms. sigh...top 4 actually in class but its nothing close to the grade i was hoping to impress a special someone. but come to think of it...is she still "that" special. oh well, to the clueless pipz out there...im currently trying to get over that someone for the past 2 months now...somehow...im getting somewhere. i think..?

DADS HOME!!

2004-08-17T21:09:00.000+08:00
DAD's BACK!!!

wow...now that has been quite some time living w/o dad. hahaha...it was like only yesterday when i thought "will i survive?"
well...sure did! hehehe...

dad brought alot of stuff with him...esp durian and candy. yum yum. not to mention couple of taperwares loaded withmommy's cookinh...hmhmhmmm...
crab, shrimps...beef steak. yumyum.

had i good dinner.

oh well, it was nice catching up with dad. marami ako n kwnto sa knya.

btw, sigh...
i came to the internet cafe to download a page for my math 1 exam this thursday...stupidly, i forgot to take note of the website before leaving the house. darn...couldn't do anything else to make my internet consumption's(and money's) worth.hehehe..
yah, its been quite a while since iv been posting on blog. well...blame the last 3 exams i took since then. hehehe..
let me see, that was a stat1 midterm, bio101 long exam and spcm 1, w/c was just this afternoon....oh well, pretty much the "mediocre kinda performance" feeling i get in every "after-math-syndrome" of taking an exam. pardon, the use of such language...couldnt think of anything better to express the complexity of my brain (really...im just crazy and windang (haggard)!...HEY! i hvnt been sleeping right for the past 5 days.)hehehe.

oh well...here's where thrift kicks in. and pretty much my que to leave...hehehe.
see you guys.

yah...saw this somewhere a long time ago...
came across it again...posted for no reason...hmmm...just for keeping a copy actually.hehehe.

UR the apple of my eye,
mango of my pie,
palaman of my tinapay,
keso of my monay,
teeth of my suklay,
fingers on my kamay,
blood in my atay,
bubbles of my laway,
sala of my bahay,
seeds of my palay,
clothes in my ukay-ukay,
calcium in my kalansay,
calamansi on my siomai,
inay of my tatay,
knot on my tie,
toyo on my kuchay,
vitamins in my gulay,
stars of my sky,
hammer of my panday,
sizzle when I fry,
tungkod when I'm pilay,
feeling when I'm high,
shoulder when I cry,
wings when I fly,
prize when I vie,
cure to my "ARAY!,
answer to my "WHY?",
foundation of my tulay,
truth behind the lie,
the life after I die.

oh well....its just sezs life would have never been life w/o that...well...special someone. hehehe.

Jerk!

2004-08-13T10:56:00.000+08:00
Jerk!

was i?

can't say much, but with the way i acted last night...
maybe this would be enough,
"to all the people i hurted last night, im sorry."

well, i was pretty much the jerk i could have been last night.
it all started with trying to get over an addition that never is healthy.
i thought by just ignoring the person would have me forgetting everything.
turns out, the syndromes of denial has gotten the best of me.
i turned into a monster constantly lashing out my tongue at anybody...
including her...

insensitive tactless jerk..thats me...
kinda makes me want to cringe right now...

Insomia

2004-08-11T08:04:00.000+08:00
Insomia

actually its just lack of sleep. tuesday..approx 2 hours; today...another 2 hours. sheesh...driven by the requirements which i just cant fulfill during the day. ive been very delinquent lately. cramming, though not a new thing to me, has been quite...haay...rampant. not to mention that im already lagging in the submission of lab reports in my mcb101...i always get a minus 2 pts in my score. its sad...i mean our teacher is really nice, its not that im abusing her...i dont want to, but shes really nice in the sense that she'd give a perfect 10 to anyone who suibmits on time regardless of the content of the paper. heehhe...ok exag na un. but mabait si maam and i guess she just has such standards. oh well...im missing out on all the perfet points. something unlikely for me.

the reason why i havn't been sleeping lately is because...hehehe..
well, the other night, i spent the whole time watching 45 episodes of Naruto; last night, as a consequence of my actions, i crammed a full report in bio101 to be submitted today. hehehe. oh well, its done and im quite satisfied with my work.

tomorrow is joey's exam so malamang puyat nnmn. haay..
oh well...dat s elbi. skul suxs!